Never Forget Me
by drdit92
Summary: Set after the end of Watershed, a devastated Rick and their family and friends desperately search for a missing Beckett. Will they find her in time? A/U as I don't control any part of the show.
1. Prologue

A/N: This is my first fanfic; I've been a huge Castle fan for a while, but had never read any fanfic until recently. I've read a ton on here at this point and was inspired to come up with something that I hope you all enjoy. This is set at the end of Watershed. It clearly goes A/U since I have no clue what is actually going on in Andrew Marlowe's head. This will be multi-chapter. I've got the outline of the story done and know where I'm going (at least initially). I wanted to upload the prologue to see if anyone is interested in the story and to make sure I understood how to get the thing published to the site. :)

* * *

**Prologue:**

"We need to talk" Kate spoke with more confidence then she thought she could manage. They did need to talk, but it was not a talk she really wanted to have. Events were moving too fast and while she'd left him out of the loop in a foolish attempt to control it all, it had pretty much blown up in her face. As usual.

"Yeah, we do" he said tersely. He told her to meet at the swings. _Their_ swings. This was going to be awful, but she had to get it over with. There was no more room for a holding pattern in this maelstrom of events.

Then she was there, sitting down and absorbing how he wouldn't look at her, wouldn't speak.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept secrets" she offered into the abyss that stretched between them. He finally spoke.

"It's who you are; you don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch."

"Castle…"

"Please, let me finish. I've been doing a lot of thinking about us; about our relationship, what we have. Where we're headed. I've decided I want more. We both deserve more." His tone was so grim. She felt her soul splintering apart as he pronounced himself done with her, with their relationship. Suddenly everything she'd come to talk about dried up in her mouth. He was done with her and nothing she said would change that. Maybe this would end up being easier than she'd first thought. If he wanted nothing more to do with her, he wouldn't care what she decided about the job. Wouldn't care that their inability to actually communicate with each other was driving them apart.

"I agree" she finally got out. She was suddenly hit with the thought that if he left her she didn't care what job she had either. She'd been so nervous about convincing him that taking the job would be the right thing to do; she'd never imagined he wouldn't be taking part in the equation at all.

"So whatever happens, whatever you decide, Katherine Houghton Beckett will you marry me?"

As she stared in shock at the ring, her mind trying to catch up to what her eyes could see, she could not process what had just occurred. Castle had been breaking up with her, hadn't he? Where the hell had this beautiful diamond ring come from? Since when did a breakup include offering a piece of jewelry? Suddenly she couldn't rely on her normally logical mind; point a to point b in this case was not a straight line. As her entire being focused on the glint of light in his hand and the thoughts racing through her head, she finally realized he was waiting; always waiting for her. He seemed to expect her to say something.

"Kate? Kate, talk to me."

She sank down into the mud as she slid bonelessly off her perch on the swing. He grabbed her arms to keep her upright, his movement taking the ring (a RING!) out of her sight. Now all she could see was his face; anxiety radiating from him in almost visible waves. Touching him, seeing his face grounded her and helped smooth the jumble in her head. Able to speak again, she simply said "Yes."

He grabbed her left hand after making sure she was going to stay upright and slid the beautiful diamond band onto her trembling left hand. It felt so right sitting there. She reached for his face with her other hand and their lips met in a kiss full of love and marvel. Opening her lips slightly, she felt him deepen the kiss as his joy poured through. She met him equally, immune to any other living being in the world. As time stopped for them, she felt something so right, so true click into place in her heart. She loved him so much, knew he loved her. She'd never felt about anyone the way she felt about Richard Castle. He was her light, water, air and earth. She knew they still had a lot to discuss and determine, but for the first time in weeks she felt like anything was possible, as long as he was beside her.

As she finally broke the kiss, gulping in air, she realized they were both still on the ground.

"Rick, stand up" she laughed. He helped her up to a standing position and they kissed again, deeply and hungrily. When she needed air again, she broke the kiss and rested her forehead on his, noses nearly touching. The ring felt alien on her left hand, but not unwelcome in its weight. Just a weird sensation from a finger that had never had a ring on it before, never certain it ever would support the weight that a ring implied to the world.

"We need to talk" she repeated her message from earlier. "I wasn't expecting this at all" she sighed, but not unhappily.

"I know Kate" his voice rumbled, vibrations hitting her body. "I meant what I said about supporting you in whatever you decide. I just want to be a part of your life."

"I came here to tell you I wanted to take the job" she said. "I was so certain you were going to hate me, I thought you were breaking up with me."

He sighed deeply then moved his head to kiss the top of her hair. "We'll figure it out. You and me together. We can do this."

"I think maybe we can Rick. For the first time I really believe anything is possible" she said. He turned her, grabbing her hand and entwining her arm to support her they walked out of the park to her car.

* * *

They were going to break up. She was certain of it. She'd been watching for a very, very long time, lying in wait; waiting for him. She'd read about them in the paper when they first became a couple; couldn't believe he would be so foolish to think Kate Beckett was for him. Everyone knew their story from the tabloids; rich playboy writer finds a homicide detective as his muse, develops inspiration to create Nikki Heat and helps the homicide detective solve real life crimes for further plot lines. But, Detective Beckett had been so adamant with the press through the years that she was NOT to be confused with the character. Beckett was just the inspiration, not the person. Reading his books, she'd come to realize how true that was. Nikki's words, her actions all seemed to fit _her_ so perfectly, it couldn't be a mistake. The universe meant for them to be together, forever. And she was determined to make him see that. If only he knew her, he'd realize that he belonged to her.

She'd taken a job to get closer to him only to watch him fall into a true relationship with Beckett. At first, she'd assumed it was just another fling, like the one with the blonde stewardess. She was patient, and continued to watch and make plans for the inevitable breakup. When after a nearly a year had elapsed, she'd begun to think she was going to have to take matters more directly into her own hands. She'd even started making some preparations for this contingency. Recently, however, the relationship had obviously soured. It was clear they were struggling even to people not in their immediate circle of family and friends. She'd begun watching more closely, ready to swoop in and pick him up, make him feel true love for the first time. She'd followed to the park, watching as she usually did from a distance. Hidden in some bushes, she'd felt secure enough to risk binoculars so she could see clearly. Beckett's body language on the swing was clear; body ramrod stiff, waves of despair pouring off of her. They were breaking up! Finally she'd have her Rook for her Heat. Then, unbelievably, he was dropping to his knees and holding up what appeared to be a ring. Neither she nor Beckett seemed to believe it, and she'd watched with incredulity and a rising tide of fury as Beckett appeared to accept his proposal; he'd slid the damn ring on her finger after all and they'd walked arm in arm out of the park after sharing some kisses. That did NOT appear to be a breakup. As her trembling limbs lowered the binoculars, she realized she was going to have to go back to plan A. She was going to take Kate Beckett out of the picture. Mind racing as she stalked away, she was thankful most of her preparations were complete. It would not be a long engagement for the writer and his muse.


	2. Chapter 1

Rick Castle had walked out of the park in a distracted haze. He couldn't believe she'd said yes. After all the issues they'd had recently, he'd started to believe he wasn't enough. The talk with his mother had forced him to face some harsh realities; realities he was afraid were too established to overcome. He'd finally woken up to the fact that they weren't on the same page. He'd been waiting for her, she'd been waiting for him but never in the same place metaphorically due to their poor communication. He'd not wanted to sound desperate, though he was. The job was an incredible opportunity, but the lies leading up to it were emblematic of their recent issues. He was ready to face them head on, as the ring showed, but until she'd whispered yes, he'd been convinced she'd turn and run as usual.

"Castle, what are you thinking about?" she hoarsely whispered.

"How beautiful you are with that ring on" he replied. They'd arrived back to her car at last, spilling into it and exchanging deepening kisses. Somehow, she'd then driven back to the loft without one single accident, though a few close calls due in no small part to his kissing her right hand/arm/shoulder/neck as she tried to navigate the road. Getting through the lobby and up the elevator still clothed was a major accomplishment in his mind. Martha was in the Hamptons, due back in a week, and of course Alexis was safely away to Costa Rica. They were alone, and he intended to take full advantage of his fiancée as soon as the damn door would open. Which was a difficult task to do with her draped all over his length, kissing him with driving passion. Finally getting the lock to respond to his fumbling key, they stumbled into the foyer of the loft, slamming the door behind, and immediately started pulling off all the offending fibers that separated their bodies. He somehow guided her in to their bedroom and they collapsed onto the bed, lips still fused together, drinking all the love and passion their souls shared. Rick had long ago discovered that sex with Kate Beckett was exponentially better than any sexual experience he'd ever had previously. However, knowing she was going to be his wife, was his forever, opened up a piece of him that he'd not realized was still closed off. As their bodies came together, he was once again made to realize that making love to a woman who loved him back was not an experience that could ever be compared to any other sexual release he'd shared with women not named Kate Beckett.

Lying with her draped all over him after they'd both been sated, he was nearly speechless. Though, as it turns out, nearly speechless for Castle is not nearly speechless enough. As he played with her left hand, admiring how his ring looked, he asked "When do you want to tell everyone?"

"When is your mom due back?"

"A week" he rumbled.

"Why don't we wait until she's back, have dinner for her and my Dad? We can tell them then" she replied. "Pretty sure my dad is going to the cabin for some fishing next weekend, so we could do the dinner the night before he leaves." She turned more closely into him, excited about the plans in her head. "We could skype with Alexis at the same time, so they all three hear it together. But I'll have to leave it off my finger this week at work, or Lanie would be all over my six as soon as she sensed diamonds on me."

He smiled that smile he only gave to her. "Maybe you could wear it on a chain this week under your shirt. I want to tell our parents first too, before everyone else. Would that be ok?" She nodded in agreement, giving him a quick kiss, thankful he understood her desire to keep the news to them until his daughter, Martha and her dad could be told. "Do you like the ring?" He'd spent hours shopping for the perfect one. He'd known she would have hated an ostentatious display, so he'd spent a long time and a lot of effort choosing for her something that she'd like but that he thought represented his love for her adequately.

"I love it" she said, as they both stared at the prisms of light dancing off of it in the semi dark room.

He couldn't resist continuing to speak, now that he had her lying next to him. "Do you have a date in mind?"

She stiffened a bit, but relaxed again when he started stroking her hair. "No. I just want to enjoy this for a bit before we start talking dates. Plus, we still have to talk about the job, about DC and what that means."

"We'll make it work" he said. "I meant it when I told you I'm all in, no matter what your decision is. The job itself was never the issue, it was the way you went about it. Behind my back, as if I didn't matter."

She'd pulled away a bit as he talked, but wasn't leaving. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I felt like you were pulling away from me recently. I didn't know where we stood and I was sure I wasn't going to get the job. I just wanted to find out more before I told you. Your life has always been here and I felt like you'd be hurt if you knew I was looking at a job in D.C."

"It hurt more that you didn't include me."

"I know that now, but at the time it just seemed like the right decision." She sat up in bed, a cold rush of air gusting between their bodies with her movement. He could feel the chasm inching open between them again, but wasn't sure what to do to stabilize it. "Castle, I think I want this job. But I also want us." She peered at him through her ruffled post-coital hair. God he loved her hair. "Do you really think we can do this; _I_ can do this?"

He reached out and grabbed her left hand again. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, together we can do anything" he said with all the gravity of his soul. He needed her to understand he just wanted her. Geographical location was irrelevant.

She rewarded him with the biggest smile he thought he'd ever seen. It was like the sun was suddenly in his bedroom. And the supernova of passion that followed her smile buoyed them both beyond any niggling doubts that fled to the dark corners of the room.


	3. Chapter 2

The following days passed by in a bit of a daze for both of them. She'd called the Attorney General's office and accepted the offer on a trial basis. They wanted her down in D. C. for the endless paperwork and boring new employee training that comes with most jobs by the end of the week. She'd be back in time for their planned dinner with her dad and Martha on Friday, though Rick was going to have to do all the preparations alone. She couldn't help but think this might be a prelude to what life might be like in D.C., but didn't confess this dark thought to him. She didn't want to dampen his ebullient mood.

She broke the news at the precinct the morning she accepted the AG's offer. Gates was thrilled for her, going on and on about how great an opportunity it was and how much Kate would benefit from this new position. Kate began to wish Gates didn't identify so strongly with her, it was a bit overwhelming and she couldn't help but think that Gates seemed more excited for her than she did.

Breaking the news to Espo and Ryan was nearly as hard as telling Rick about the job. She'd brought them into the break room, telling them she had an announcement. They'd already looked downcast as they gathered in the room where they'd spent so much time laughing together in the past.

"Guys, I have something I need to tell you" she started hesitantly.

"You broke up with Castle, didn't you?" Ryan blurted out.

"Dude, no" Javi shook his head at his partner for jumping in and voicing the thoughts they both had. Castle had been missing from the end of the last case and Beckett had been acting really weird. It didn't take rocket scientists to see there was an issue.

"What? No" she started. "No, that's not what I want to tell you." Her face was drawn in such misery; neither man could imagine what she was going to say. "I've resigned my position effective immediately. I'm taking a job with the Attorney General's office in D.C."

They mumbled congratulations and hugged her after a stunned silence, but she could tell they were reeling from the news. She understood better than she would have even a week ago. They were a family, and she was leaving them behind.

* * *

Entering the morgue, she was feeling physically ill at the prospect of telling Lanie. Stomach roiling, nausea rising in her throat, she found the M.E. in the autopsy suite working on something bloody. Very, very bloody. Once again Kate found herself fighting to keep from throwing up.

"Kate Beckett, what are you doing here? You don't have a case right now!"

"Hey Lanie. We need to talk."

Lanie's smile trailed off her face as she took in Kate's pinched face and her body language that screamed misery. Putting down her scalpel and hemostats, she took off her face helmet, bloody gloves and apron and walked over to Kate, taking her by the shoulder and steering her down to an office for privacy.

"Spill it Kate. What's Writer Boy done now? Did you break up with him? Did he break up with you? I'm gonna kill'im."

Why did everyone think they'd broken up? Had their difficulties been that obvious? Shaking off that particular depressing thought she replied "No, no Lanie. Not him. Me. I've done it."

The puzzled look on Lanie's face would have made her laugh in normal circumstances.

"Remember Agent Stack from that case involving the drone?" Lanie nodded hesitantly, still not sure what was going on to cause her friend such misery if Castle wasn't involved. "Well, I've been offered a job with them. The Attorney General's task force. In Washington, D.C. And I accepted it."

"Oh." Lanie's face dropped momentarily. "OOH. And when you told Castle he wasn't happy, was he?"

"Well, not exactly." Lanie waited patiently, knowing the silence would work against her friend in _this_ particular interrogation. "I sort of interviewed without telling him and he found out later. He was really, really mad."

"Girl, of course he was. Katherine Beckett, why would you do that to him? That man thinks you hung the moon and the stars."

"I know Lanie, I know" Kate ground out piteously. "I just didn't know where we were going. I made a huge mistake."

"Did you two break up?" There was that damn question again! And now she couldn't ignore it. But Kate hesitated. She couldn't tell Lanie they'd actually gotten engaged, not when Alexis, Martha and Jim didn't know yet. She decided a little subterfuge was acceptable for the greater good in this case and hoped Lanie'd forgive her later. "No, but we're trying to talk it out. It's not been easy. I've accepted the job and I turned in my badge and gun just a bit ago. The boys are devastated. I was hoping you'd keep an eye on them for me."

Lanie enveloped her in a big hug. "You know I will. And Kate, this sounds like a great job. Just make sure you're considering how it will affect everyone in your life, not just you."

"I have Lanie, I have. I really want to do this. And I think I can do it and keep my life and everyone in it. Things will change, dramatically, but I think I can do this."

"Ok, but don't be surprised if I tell you otherwise if I see things breaking apart."

Kate laughed. "I can always count on you to be my lodestone if my life is spinning out of control."

"Rick should be your lodestone girl, not me. But I'm definitely up for chewing off your ass if you screw up." With that they hugged again and broke apart. As Kate left the morgue, she had a fleeting smile on her face when she realized Lanie had been so distracted by all the angst about her job that she'd completely overlooked the barely visible new chain that held her engagement ring. Under any other circumstance she was sure Lanie's acute powers of observation would have discovered the ring. But today, she'd been too distracted by the dramatic news Beckett had laid on her. "Score one for Beckett" she laughed in her head as she headed home to pack for the flight to D.C. in the morning.

* * *

Kate Beckett was leaving for D.C. in the morning. She'd discovered she'd be gone for 2 days, which would allow all her plans proper time to spring into place. Everything was ready. It was time to remove Kate Beckett from Richard Castle's life. Permanently.


	4. Chapter 3

Rick was up early on Wednesday, ready to see Kate off to the airport. She'd called a cab, given him a laughing kiss goodbye and promised to text him when she got there. The loft felt empty without her. He'd gone back to bed, but couldn't sleep properly with her missing from his side. He started thinking about how much she might be gone with her new job and felt a bit of panic and despair rising to the surface. He loved her, she loved him, but he recognized this new job was going to suck up a lot of time from her. And he was pretty sure she would have a lot less time for him, for them. Trying to shake off the maudlin thoughts, he finally got up and showered, sniffing her cherry shampoo only once. He counted that as a small victory.

Shortly after dressing, he'd gotten a call from the Espo. "Dude, we got a body drop. You wanta meet us?"

"Really? Without Kate here? Is that ok with Gates?"

"Bro, she won't mind."

"By that you mean she won't know I'm at the scene."

"Dude, you coming or not?"

"Ok, sure. Text me the address."

And just like that, he was off. The case wasn't anything special, but was enough of a distraction that he was able to push all his thoughts of missing Kate to the side. Most of the time. The boys seemed to really miss her too, and the off color jokes and raunchy comments flowed fast and furious without Beckett's glare to put them back in their places. He'd gotten a brief text from her a few hours after she'd left, indicating she'd arrived safe and sound. He was briefly hurt that she hadn't actually called him, but knew he was being ridiculous. She'd told him she was going to text him, not call him, but he couldn't help the spasm of pain that she hadn't made the extra effort to call him. By the time the day ended, he'd tried to call her a time or two. Ok, maybe it was 5, but hey, he was her secret fiancé and he wanted to hear her voice. However, every effort went straight to voicemail. He wasn't sure why her phone was off, but convinced himself that she had to shut it off in whatever federal building she was in due to the fed's overpowering requirement for secrecy.

He agreed to meet the boys for a quick drink at The Old Haunt after they finished up the case. He still hadn't heard from her and that _may_ have led to him drinking a little (ok, a lot) more than he should have if she'd been home. Alone in the loft, he was resting his eyes (ok, he was sleeping on the couch) when he heard the unmistakable sounds of a skype call. Confused as to why Kate was skyping him instead of calling him, he stumbled into his office and then realized it was Alexis calling.

"Dad? Are you ok? You look…..tired."

"I'm fine Alexis. I was just sleeping on the couch. "

"Oh, sorry to wake you. I was just missing you and decided to call. How's New York, how's Detective Beckett?"

"New York is missing you pumpkin. Kate's actually out of town tonight."

"Ahhh. And so maybe you had some drinks with the boys tonight?"

"You are way too perceptive to be my daughter. Yes, the boys and I did a case together without Kate and we may have celebrated a little bit after hours. Kate will be back on Friday. Actually, we need to talk to you about something together. I know Friday night is a bad night to ask you to call your old man, but do you think you could make an exception this Friday? We won't take long and you'll have plenty of time after to still go out with your friends. Or to study, but I sure hope you're doing more fun things on a Friday night. You are responsible for continuing to carry out the Castle legacy after all."

"Sure Dad. I do have a few plans, but I can definitely call. Around 7 ok for you?"

"That'll be perfect baby girl. I look forward to seeing you then. Be good. Or be bad. Yeah, you should be a little bad."

"Dad! You know I'm always good."

"Yes, and it makes me a little sad. Ok, night baby. I love you."

"Love you too Dad." She signed off and he was alone again. Checking to see his phone was still working, he couldn't believe that he still hadn't heard from Kate. His next few phone calls continued to voicemail and the worry he'd been suppressing all day started rising again. Where the hell was she and why wasn't she answering him? She was probably out socializing with her new co-workers at some fancy D.C. bar. Nightmarish fantasies of buff G-men buying her drinks twirled through his head. She probably wasn't wearing her ring in D.C. either. It didn't bother him when she didn't wear it in New York; they had a plan to tell their parents and Alexis first, before the others found out. But in D.C., no one would be able to rat them out. Yet he was certain she wasn't wearing it. Knowing he was never going to sleep wondering where she was, he finally took a sleeping pill and chased it with some scotch. He fell asleep with his cell phone next to his pillow so he wouldn't miss her call when she finally got around to remembering him.

Sunlight filtering through his curtains danced over his eyes and the cold emptiness of his bed finally awakened him the next morning. She still hadn't called. He picked up his landline and made sure his cell still worked. The ring shattered the silence of the loft and it felt as though a bit of his heart had shattered too. Why hadn't she called him? Was she mad at him? He racked his brain trying to figure out if he'd done something wrong, something that deserved radio silence, but he couldn't come up with anything. He spent the next few hours trying to call her until he knew by the time that she must be back in the depths of some faceless federal building again. Could the feds have confiscated her phone? Surely they would have let her borrow one if they'd done that. Maybe not, this was a bureaucracy after all. Probably not interested in her family life, just her keen mind.

He somehow showered (3 sniffs of the cherry shampoo, not something to be proud of) and dressed by midmorning. With a conscious effort, he went through the pantry and started planning tomorrow night's meal. He knew Kate wouldn't be back in time to be able to help prepare the meal, but somehow her lack of communication made the prospect of making the meal by himself even more depressing. It was supposed to be about them, and here she couldn't be bothered to even let him know how she was doing. His anger grew with the passing hours. Occasionally he grew frantic with worry; maybe she was hurt or sick, but the recent lies she'd told him fanned the flames of his doubt over her commitment to him and the panic was always quickly replaced by anger.

He needed some fresh items for the meal, so in the early afternoon he stepped out to go shopping. Loaded with bags when he got home, he didn't notice the envelope slipped under his door until a few hours later. By then his anger had mostly been replaced with genuine panic and he was ready to start randomly calling D.C. looking for someone in the AG's office to give him the reassurance he needed that she was safely ensconced in their care. As he was dialing the 800 number he'd found by googling the AG office and pacing back in forth in agitation, he finally noticed the envelope lying on the floor next to the door. Curious, he walked over and picked it up. Just a plain jane white envelope, nothing special, though there seemed to be something heavy inside it, something small. The front had the letters R.C. on it in ink. As he listened with half an ear to the phone tree that the AG office was forcing him through, he opened the envelope distractedly and dumped the contents into his open hand. It was Kate's engagement ring. Why was her ring in an envelope? Looking into the envelope he found a single sheet of paper was also trapped inside. Slowly removing it with shaking hands, he noticed it was covered in handwritten letters. He stared at the writing in growing confusion and his phone fell unnoticed to the floor, still running through what options to press for all the various offices. This was Kate's writing. He'd seen it so much through the 5 years he'd been around her, it was unmistakable to him. In disbelief, he started reading the letter and after getting through the first paragraph he collapsed to his knees as his entire world imploded around him, the ring clattering unnoticed next to him on the floor.


	5. Chapter 4

_Morning of Kate's trip_

Kate had climbed in the cab that she'd called with mixed emotions. She'd started feeling second thoughts about the job creeping in during quiet moments for several days, and now faced with leaving Rick and their home (well, his home since she didn't live there officially, but really when was the last time she'd been to her apartment?), she was especially conflicted. Since she'd left the precinct the day before, she'd felt safe to wear her ring, and she spent the initial part of the cab ride staring at it on her hand and wondering why the hell she wanted a job in D.C. away from the people she thought of as family.

She finally looked up and caught the cabbie staring at her with a fleeting expression that she could have sworn was envy. The cab had a fairly thick Plexiglas partition separating them, but that wasn't unusual. New York was a dangerous place at times, and cabbies were often on the front line of violence. There seemed to be some speaker from the front to the back which the cabbie flicked on to speak to her. With a low cap on the head and a thick jacket, Beckett couldn't even tell if the driver was male or female. There was a black scarf obscuring even more of the face. However, the voice from the speaker was definitely female and sounded vaguely familiar.

"Nice ring. Did you just get engaged?"

Assuming there was some mechanism for the driver to hear her, Kate blushed and replied "Actually, yes, just this Monday. I'm afraid it's still so new to me that I can't help but play with it."

"No worries, it looks beautiful. He must be a special guy."

"Yeah, he is" the detective nearly whispered in reply, lost in her thoughts again.

"Which airline did you want me to drop you off at?"

"Delta please."

"Ok, shouldn't be more than 30 minutes then. Go back to dreaming about your wedding."

And Kate had done just that, visions of a certain virile, handsome blue-eyed man in a tuxedo waiting for her at the end of an aisle dancing through her head. She'd never been the type of girl to cut out pictures of wedding dresses or fantasize about a wedding in the future with anyone. Anyone that is until he'd come along and somehow before she knew it, he was her world. She smiled to herself as she remembered how angry she'd been when she was asked, or rather _forced_, to let him tag along all those years ago. He'd been so juvenile in both his words and actions; he was annoying, immature, egotistical and arrogant. But he'd also shaken her out of her established, comfortable routine. After her mother's death and her father's spiral into alcoholism, she'd walled off her heart from anyone she thought could hurt her. Sure, she'd dated some men during that time, but they were never very important to her. She had hero-worshipped Royce after she finished at the academy. Her T.O. had seemed larger than life, full of all the secrets you needed to survive the mean streets of New York, secrets that no academy could ever impart. But hero worship was as far as it had gone. She'd loved his confidence and his knowledge, but she'd not been _in_ love with him.

Will Sorenson had been the first man she really thought about marrying. If he'd asked, she might have said yes. She'd thought what they had was real, but on that day he'd told her he was leaving for Boston, she'd felt more relief than sadness. There'd been some idea in her head that he was actually going to propose that morning when he'd acted so nervously and so solemnly about meeting him for breakfast at their favorite diner. She remembered how conflicted she'd felt as she walked to the diner, not sure what she'd say or how she'd feel when he asked. So, when it was not a proposal, she'd been so relieved; she knew in an instant that she'd mistaken their comfortable relationship for love. She'd never regretted his leaving after that moment.

Tom Demming had been attentive, fun, and understanding. He knew as well as she what it was like to be a cop, the hours they worked. But he'd just been a holding place while she worked out in her head that Richard Castle meant more to her than she'd thought. Castle's offer for her to go to the Hamptons with him had hit her like a ton of bricks, but once she'd considered it she realized that's what she really wanted. Thus breaking up with Tom was one of the easiest things she'd ever done. She hadn't even thought of him when Rick broke her heart by walking away from her with his arm around Gina's shoulder.

Josh; now Josh had been an attempt to salve that particular hurt. Picturing Castle and Gina in the Hamptons together was a recipe for self-destruction if she'd ever seen one. Josh had seen her looking at motorcycle leathers in a store, trying determinedly to forget about Castle and his ex/no longer ex/whatever Gina was now. Josh had given her a look of wanting that she wasn't unused to seeing from a lot of men, but he'd also acted on that look by introducing himself and then asking her out for coffee. A hot man and an offer of coffee was not possible to turn down when Rick was probably lying on a beach with Gina right that second. When she'd found out he was a thoracic surgeon over that first cup with him she'd been intrigued. Here was a man similar to her; he worked to help others, but had a little bit of a naughty side that involved a love of motorcycles and leather. He was also really, really hot, which certainly helped his cause. But, looking back now, it was actually his job with long hours and frequent trips out of the country that she'd truly liked. He was good in bed, and she'd thought he'd be enough for her. Someone to meet her needs but not needing any sort of commitment. This was all she thought she'd ever need, not wanting or willing to risk any more. That is until Richard Castle had whispered those words of love as she lay dying in a cemetery and made her realize she really_ did_ want more.

Castle. Richard Castle. He'd obliterated most of her walls, seemingly without much effort. She had always been an introvert, needing to be alone in her own space to recharge after long days pursuing justice for grieving families. She'd never even stayed long in her lover's beds, seeking her precious alone time once she'd had her physical needs met. Until Rick Castle came along and she found herself gaining energy from merely being with him. The days and weeks after she'd shown up at his doorstep after nearly falling off of that roof had been a whirlwind of sex, sex and more sex. Kate had certainly had a healthy sex life with her previous boyfriends, but she'd never needed anyone as much as she needed Castle. No other man had met her needs so perfectly. Every single time with him was better than any experience she'd had before. It was a little frightening at first, how much she needed him; couldn't keep her hands off him. Even when they weren't having sex, there was no place she wanted to be than in his bed with him sleeping next to her, making her feel safe and loved for the first time in her life. Kate had finally realized that the difference between him and everyone else; she loved him. Truly loved him. Her one and done as she'd once told him when they'd been discussing marriage in a much more hypothetical situation.

So when he'd seemed to lose some interest in her, when she couldn't read how he felt about them and where they were going, she'd been scared to her core. She didn't think she could survive alone again, not when she now knew what it was like to have a partner in every sense of the world next to her. The D.C. job offered the opportunity to throw herself into an all-consuming job, in a new city that wouldn't have reminders of them on all the familiar streets. She knew it was also a big move up, career wise, but that was not as important as the chance to throw herself into a situation where she could try and forget Richard Castle and her love for him if he broke things off. That day on the swings when she'd been so certain he was leaving her broken in bits she'd longed for this job. But now that she knew he loved her, wanted her as his wife, this job seemed more like an obstacle than a career move. However, she'd already left NYPD. She decided she'd give this job a chance, but if she felt it was distancing her from the only person in the world that truly mattered to her it would be an easy decision to leave, no matter the damage to her career. She was going to be the wife of a best-selling author after all. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be a kept woman for a while.

Lost in her thoughts, Kate hadn't noticed the harsh, stinging odor penetrating her portion of the cab until a few minutes after the cabbie had turned on the gas. When she coughed and sputtered a bit, losing the pleasant thoughts of her lover and what he'd done to show her how much he was going to miss her that morning before she left, Kate finally looked up to complain about the smell.

"Hey, there's something wrong back here. Some sort of weird smell. Hey, Hey!" She banged on the partition, but the cabbie didn't pay any attention to her other than to smirk into the rear view mirror. Coughing more, Kate looked wildly around the back of the cab, finally paying attention to the outside world after being lost in thought for so long.

"Where are we? This isn't on the way to airport! What are you doing? Where are you taking me?" she gasped out as it became more and more difficult to breathe. Total panic set in as she felt her hold on consciousness begin to slip. She tried to open the back door, but discovered there was no handle to use. She'd been so distracted by her ring and her thoughts that she'd not noticed previously that the back of this cab was really quite different than most. As she slipped into blackness, her last thoughts were of Rick. She loved him so much, she tried to hold on to that as the only lifeline connecting her to the world, but ultimately even that line snapped as she succumbed to the gas.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows. I've never written any fiction before, so I hope I'm doing the characters justice. I definitely appreciate any constructive criticism. **

_Very early Thursday morning_

Consciousness fluttered in and out like a fickle butterfly, never lighting for long. Kate's head felt like she had drunk every bottle of wine in The Old Haunt. The pulsing pain was coupled with a severe case of nausea and her nose and throat felt like some sadist had rubbed high grit sandpaper all over their surface. When she finally came around for the last time, the only thing she could do was roll over on the bed she was lying in and vomit all over the floor. Once her dry heaving stopped and she was able to control her gasping respirations, she started to feel more in control. Where was she? What had happened? Bits and pieces of the day before started to fall into place. She'd been in a cab on the way to the airport but then there was that horrible smell and the descent into nothingness. Opening her eyes for the first time, everything was blurry and distorted. She closed them again and groaned, feeling sick and heartsick at the same time. Rick, she needed her Rick.

"I see you're awake Detective" a voice sounded tinny in her ear. Eyes opening again she slowly looked around, able to focus a bit better this time. She was in a square room, lying on a single bed pushed into one corner. There was a nightstand with a lamp and glowing bulb next to her. The walls were cement block, unpainted. The floor appeared to be concrete. There was a door near the foot of her bed that was cracked ajar, inky darkness lying beyond without any clue as to where it led. Past the door were cabinets, a sink and a fridge. There appeared to be a microwave and a two burner electric stovetop on the cabinets. An old, beat up table stood in the space along the next wall near the kitchenette, with two mismatched and equally beat up chairs pushed up next to the table. The wall opposite her bed held another door; this one was made of solid metal and was latched solidly into a metal frame. Across from her bed were a small sofa and an armchair, with an old cathode ray tube television set perched precariously on a small, inadequate looking stand. A DVD player was plugged into the TV.

"Take a good look around, this is going to be your home for some time" the tinny voice sounded again. Kate looked up at the ceiling in confusion; the voice came from above her. The ceiling had a flat speaker recessed into it near the metal door. There was also a camera protected by a metal cage in the corner nearest the metal door, positioned in such a way that Kate had no doubt it showed the entirety of the room.

"What do you want with me? Who are you? I'm NYPD. If you don't let me go immediately you're going to regret it!" she spoke with more confidence than she felt. She'd learned long ago that if you act and speak with the façade of bravery the resolve of those trying to intimidate her often crumbled. It didn't always work, unfortunately.

"Hahaha" laughed the tinny voice. "I know exactly who you are Detective Beckett. I not only know exactly who you are, I know all kinds of things about you. You and your supposed relationship with Richard Castle."

"Castle!? What does he have to do with this?"

"He has everything to do with this. He's why you're here at all. If only you two had broken up like you were supposed to, like you were headed towards a few weeks ago, this wouldn't have been necessary. But no, you had to go and let him put that ring on your finger."

Kate automatically glanced down at her left hand as this last statement hit her. Her ring was gone.

"Where is my engagement ring? What do you want with me? How do you know about our engagement?"

"You don't need your ring anymore" replied the voice. "You and Castle will never be getting married. He's not meant to be with you. And you're going to do exactly as I say if you want the people you care about to go on breathing."

Kate was having trouble following the conversation, given her nausea and splitting headache. Nothing was making sense. The world was spinning and she was either delirious or in a lot of trouble. Internally latching on to her last sight of Rick, she tried to ground herself, remembering the feel of him under her fingers, the taste of his lips on hers. This helped the merry-go-round world to stop spinning quite so fast. She managed to pull herself into a sitting position, legs on the cement. The voice came again.

"I'll let you get settled a bit. That open door leads to a bathroom if you need to puke again. You'll find glasses in the cabinets and juice in the fridge. I'll be back soon detective and then we can discuss just exactly our little partnership is going to work."

Kate managed a shaky legged stand a few minutes later. God her head hurt. She staggered to the door that was supposed to lead to a bathroom and found a light switch that did indeed reveal a basic bathroom lay beyond. There was a sink, mirror above, a toilet and a simple shower. A floor length cabinet beyond the sink revealed that it held a variety of linens and a random assortment of tampons and maxi pads, shampoo, soap, toothpaste and other toiletries. All were just basic generic variety brands. Kate used the bathroom quickly then returned to the main room. She walked to the kitchenette, opening cupboards to discover dishes and dry goods contained within. Mind whirling, she then opened the fridge and found it well stocked. What the hell was all this and what the fuck did they want with her? She grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the tap before going back to the bathroom to grab a towel and clean up the mess she'd made on the floor next to the bed. She then collapsed back on the bed prone, pulling the pillow up to her face and vowing with all her might not to cry. Oh Castle, what is happening? What do they want with me?

* * *

Kate had no idea how much time had passed when she heard the voice again. There were no windows in her prison, no clocks, no way to tell time. She was still lying on the bed with the pillow stuffed partially into her mouth so she would not scream.

"Ok detective, ground rules first. You are going to be here some time. I don't know how long yet, but you will not be leaving this room for weeks, maybe months until my plan comes to fruition. I will provide you with some books; there are a few in your nightstand already. There are some DVDs under the TV for you to watch if you want. There is a large stack of paper and some pens if you want to write in a kitchen drawer. There is no access to TV broadcasts or internet for obvious reasons. I will restock your food at variable times. You will be warned one hour before I enter your room, so you can gather any garbage you want me to remove and place it in a bag near the entry door. There will be replacement bags left behind. If you have specific requests for foods/books/DVDs or want to do any sewing or things like that you may make a list for me to look at as well and I'll decide if you'll be rewarded with your request the next time I come in. Any laundry will also be left in a bag and I'll return it the next time. Your garbage will be incinerated, so don't waste time trying to get messages out that way."

Kate had only been half listening once she heard that her captor would be entering her room periodically; as a trained law enforcement professional she'd always had confidence in her ability to use her physical skills to subdue people even if they were larger than her. She started trying to decide where the best advantages might lie within the room as the voice droned on.

"You may be thinking you'll be able to overpower me when I come in your room. Banish that thought as well Detective. When I am about to enter your room, you'll be required to enter the bathroom first. I control a remote lock out here. It's a bit like how they control wild animals in zoos. You're safely locked up in a smaller cage and I can clean up the bigger one."

Kate's spirits had been buoyed by the small hope of escape she'd allowed herself to think about. Hopes that were burst upon hearing all of the careful plans that seemed to be escape proof. She couldn't hold back the screams any longer. "What do you want from me? What if I choose not to cooperate with all this?"

"Well, as I mentioned earlier, that would be a very poor choice for some of the people you love. If you'll move to the kitchen table?" The voice waited while she complied. On the table she saw a manila folder she hadn't noticed previously.

"That folder contains pictures I think you'll be very interested in."

Kate opened the folder with shaking hands, not certain she wanted to see anything this disembodied voice seemed so eager for her to look at. As the pictures came into view she gasped. They were candid shots of her Dad, of Lanie, of Espo, Ryan and even Jenny. Noticeably absent were any pictures of Castle or his family.

"I'm sure you recognize everyone there. And perhaps you'll notice these are all shots of them going about their lives, no idea I was so close to them. Beckett, if you refuse me one thing, balk at anything I ask of you then I will take one of them out. I don't care about any of them. But I know you do. If you are a good girl, I won't harm a head on their hair. Their lives are in your hands, it's that simple."

Kate felt nausea rising up again. She had no idea what this person wanted with her, but she knew she had no leverage. Not when they could so easily approach these people, people she had grown to love as family. Her dad was family of course, but Lanie was like a sister; her best friend. And the boys were the brothers she'd never had. She would not do anything to put them in danger.

"Alright Beckett, here is your first task and it's one of the most important ones. You are going to take a piece of paper from that drawer and write a letter to Mr. Castle explaining why you're breaking up with him. I want you to tell him you're never, ever coming back. Tell him you're making a fresh start in D.C. and that's why you don't need to come back for your things. Tell him you've never actually loved him and that he needs to forget about you. Tell him whatever is necessary to make him believe you're gone forever. It better be effective Beckett, otherwise one of those people in those pictures is never going to need air again. I'll be back in a while to retrieve the letter. I'd better be happy with what I read. One page only Detective."

The voice clicked off and Kate felt the solid cement of the floor turning to liquid as she sank into a stupor once again. This task, this horrible letter was a weapon that was going to kill her. Somehow she knew it would kill him too.


	7. Chapter 6

"Rick? Kiddo? Could you help me with my bags please?" Martha paused in the foyer with her suitcases. She'd had a fabulous time in the Hamptons, but was glad to be home. She wasn't sure what this dinner was all about; this dinner that her son and his girlfriend had invited her and Jim to, but she hoped it went better than their first dinner together. Fortunately, she and Jim had bonded afterwards, during those bleak hours when their kids were missing, but she still felt a bit indignant when she thought about his words about her not being 'serious' since she was an actress. She was just going to have to avoid mentioning that dreadful game he liked so much. Baseball, really, who could watch that?

The loft was silent. She knew Kate had accepted the D.C. job and wasn't due back until late afternoon. Martha had no idea how that issue was going to work out. She could see her son was madly, deeply in love for the first time in his life, but she also knew that he'd been holding some of that back from Kate. Those two really needed to work on communicating better, as she'd pointed out to him before leaving for the Hamptons. La, her skills as a life coach were still sharp. Yes, they loved each other, but neither seemed to be able to make the other understand the depth of their commitment. Their attraction had been patently obvious for years. She'd never seen her son wait for so long; well he'd never waited for anyone. Most women fell over themselves trying to get his attention, but not Kate Beckett. She'd strung him along for years, though Martha now realized that most of that was due to Kate's deeply reserved personality. She did not invite people in to her heart to keep herself safe. Yet, Richard had waited. That was definitely a clue that Kate meant something more to him. Once they'd finally started a true relationship she'd hoped it would be smooth sailing. Of course, nothing between those two ever worked out smoothly. However, Martha had fallen in love with Kate as well. She made her son so happy, and she was a wonderful person once you got past the prickly detective shell. She was warm, generous and honest. Martha was really hoping the dinner tonight meant she was gaining a daughter in law, but no one seemed to be around.

Knowing she wouldn't be walking in on any….passionate displays…with Kate still gone, Martha went in search of her son. He wasn't in the kitchen, and no preparations for the dinner that was supposed to take place were in evidence. However, several opened and drained bottles of alcohol were scattered over the counter.

"Richard! Where are you?"

A slight rustle made her turn towards the living room. There were several more bottles lying haphazardly around. What was going on? As she walked to the couch she finally saw her son pressed into the cushions. He seemed to be sleeping; or maybe drunk given the amount of empty bottles around him. He appeared to have slept for some time in the same clothes; they were a wrinkled mess. And the smell, good heavens! He was piss-drunk!

Worry bloomed through her in a wave. Had something happened to Alexis? Or Kate? No, surely he would have called her before diving into the booze. She grabbed his shoulder and shook him hard. A previously unnoticed bottle of scotch he was clutching fell onto the carpet and started decanting the little that was left into the rug.

"Richard! My God, what in the hell are you doing?"

"Mmmother?" he slurred as one eye than the other cracked open. "Wwecome home" he gasped out, with the evidence of his drinking all over his breath if it hadn't been obvious before.

"Richard, what is wrong? Is Alexis ok?"

Martha had to shake him again as he closed his eyes, thinking he was falling asleep before he answered her questions. She was wrong however as she saw tears gathering in his eyes and then he was crying; gut wrenching sobs pouring forth.

"Oh Richard!" She walked around the end of the couch and cleared some of the bottles off the coffee table so she could sit near him. "Richard, what happened? Tell me what is wrong."

"She's gone Mother. She's gone."

"Who's gone? Kate?"

At the mention of Kate's name his body started shaking even harder. After a few minutes of her soothing him with gentle caresses to the head and making soft noises, his sobbing lightened up enough that she felt she could ask more questions.

"What happened?"

"I asked her to marry me. And she said yes! Everything seemed to be working out even though she wanted to take the job in D.C. I told her I'd go anywhere as long as I could be with her. I thought she felt the same way. But then she left for Washington and only texted me she'd arrived. I knew something was off when she wouldn't take my calls. And then I found this last night." He was pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. Martha took the paper and silently read the note.

"Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry."

"She put my ring in the envelope too. She never wants to see me again. Mother, what is wrong with me? Why can't she love me?"

"Richard, this is not on you. This is Kate Beckett's problem. You know as well as I how she runs from things when she starts to feel trapped. Now, son, I know you want nothing more to wallow in pity right now, but you smell badly. Let's get you to bed." As Martha helped her son out of his clothes and into bed she felt a furious fire of anger spring to life at what Kate Beckett had reduced her son to. No one deserved to be treated like this. Especially her baby boy.

* * *

A few hours later, all the bottles were cleaned up. The couch cushions and the rug were going to need professional attention, but at least the house looked presentable again. Martha was just thinking about ordering some dinner when she heard a knock at the door. Certain it was Kate despite the damned letter claiming she was never coming back, Martha marched to the door and flung it open with an angry sweep of the arm. It was not Kate.

"Martha, um, good evening" said Jim Beckett. He wasn't sure why Martha seemed so angry.

"Jim! Oh, well, hello. What are you doing here? Did she ask you to pick up her stuff?"

"I was invited for dinner" replied Jim, holding out the flowers he'd brought to give his daughter. "Where are Kate and Rick?"

"You don't know, do you" gasped Martha. "Oh, Jim, I'm so sorry. I thought she would have told you. Kate has left Richard. Apparently they were going to tell us they were getting married tonight; he gave her a ring! But then she sent the ring back and wrote him a letter telling him it was all over. She said she never wants to see him again! I found him trying to drink himself into a stupor and put him to bed."

Jim had dropped the hand holding the flowers to the side as she spoke and visibly flinched when Martha told him how drunk Castle had gotten. He couldn't understand what had happened.

"You've not heard from her at all?"

"Not since she called me to invite me to the dinner earlier in the week" he said.

"Apparently she's decided the D.C. job offers her the ability to make a fresh start, one without my son" Martha replied tersely. She could see Jim was just as shocked as she'd been by the news that Kate had left. That woman had a lot to answer for, that was sure!

Jim was thinking back to the conversation he'd had with his daughter about the job when she'd first gotten the offer. He knew his daughter wanted the job and was flattered by the offer. He'd hoped he'd been clear with her that she might have to choose between her relationship with Castle and the AG office. Jim had never seen her so happy and content than she'd been the past year with Rick. When Johanna had died, Kate had retreated behind an impenetrable shell. One not helped by his own inability to deal with his wife's death. He'd hoped Kate would recognize that a job could never give you the joy that true love brought and so would choose her life with Rick over a career. However, from what Martha was telling him, this was not what had happened. Oh Katie, what have you done?

"I think you should leave Jim. I wish Kate every success with her new career, but I hope I never see her again. You understand, don't you?"

"Yes Martha, I understand. I'm so sorry. I don't know what she was thinking." With that, he turned and walked to the elevator to leave. He dug his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and made sure he hadn't missed any calls from her. There was nothing, not even a text. He dialed her number but got her voicemail. Asking her to call him as soon as possible, he left what he had begun to think of as her home wondering what in the world his child was doing with her life. What a mess.

* * *

Martha was still leaning against the front door reliving the conversation when she heard a skype call coming in from the office. As she walked towards it, she shook her head. Kate hadn't told her father? She was more monstrous than she'd first given her credit for. Reaching the office, she found Alexis calling in. She answered, relieved to see her beloved granddaughter safe and sound.

"Grams! How were the Hamptons?"

"Oh, Alexis, darling! They were fine."

"What's wrong? Is dad ok?" Sometimes Martha wished her granddaughter wasn't so perceptive. She didn't want to worry her. But she knew she'd push and prod until she spilled it. So, she outlined the events for the second time within a half hour.

"That bitch! Grams, is he ok?"

"Well, I've got him in bed, but you know he's going to suffer over this" Martha hoped he'd pull himself together for his daughter's sake if nothing else. She wasn't sure any other person on earth could reach him.

"I'm coming home early. I'll get a plane tomorrow! I can't believe she did this to him again!" Alexis still harbored some blame for Kate with the summer before when Kate had shut him out of her life after the shooting. Martha knew there was more to that story that Alexis wasn't aware of, but it wasn't her place to tell her.

"No darling, stay there. I've got this for now. If I need help, I'll call you."

"Are you sure Grams? I hate to see him hurting."

"I know kiddo, but neither you nor I can fix this. He's going to have to get her out of his system and until then you should finish your adventure there. How many more weeks until you come home again?"

"Just three Grams. Are you sure about this?"

"Yes Alexis. Now go, enjoy yourself and if I need you I will call you."

"Ok. Tell him I love him and he can call me to talk anytime. With skype it's almost like I'm there!"

"Will do kiddo, will do. Now go." Martha signed off then went to recheck her son. He was still sleeping, but judging by the tortured look on his face it was anything but a restful sleep. She sighed deeply and felt her anger at Katherine Beckett burn a little brighter as she repositioned the covers softly over his body, trying to give him any little comfort that she could offer. She did hope the detective found success, but she'd never forgive her for what she'd done to her son.


	8. Chapter 7

Over the weekend, Martha managed to keep Rick from completely falling apart. Oh, he drank; she couldn't keep him entirely away from his refuge in the bottle. He drank enough to numb the pain so he wasn't sobbing for hours. But he didn't drink himself into oblivion as he would have without her there. Her heart continued to break for him and she found herself pushed almost to the point of hating Kate Beckett. She wasn't sure he'd ever recover from this blow, even with Alexis in his life. Of course it wasn't just Rick who'd been obliterated in the tsunami of destruction that Kate Beckett represented. Martha kept playing back Friday nights conversation with Jim Beckett in her head. Something didn't make sense; to leave her father abandoned as it seemed she had was unfathomable to Martha. She could accept the abandonment of her son; Kate had been doing that dance for years with him. But her own father! That woman had burned so many bridges behind her, only smoke and char filled the air. So it was with some disbelief but also some familiarity with the situation that she found others outside of the Castle/Beckett family had been left in the dust as well. It was Saturday morning when further proof of Kate's selfishness showed up at the loft. She'd thought she heard a knock at the door around 9 am. Opening it, Martha had found Lanie Parrish standing in the hallway, looking a bit chagrined.

"Hi Lanie, I wasn't expecting you" Martha managed. She wasn't sure why Lanie was here and Richard was certainly in no shape for visitors.

"I'm sorry Martha. I was wondering if I could speak to Kate. I've tried calling and texting her a million times this week and I haven't heard from her. I was getting worried, so decided to stop by."

Martha regarded the M.E. for a long minute with shuttered eyes and a drew in a painful breath. "You'd better come in."

Seating Lanie on a stool at the counter, Martha debated how to start. Lanie clearly didn't know what had happened, but Martha wasn't sure she should tell her everything. While she debated inside her head, Lanie was growing more and more concerned.

"Martha! Is everyone alright? Is Kate or Rick hurt?"

"No. Well, yes. But not how you imagine." This didn't clear things up at all. Martha decided that since lies and deceit had landed them where they were in the first place, it was time to rip off the bandage and expose the entire festering mess to the light of day.

"Rick proposed to Kate earlier this week" she started. Lanie's eyes grew huge as she gasped and stiffened in her seat. "Kate said yes, and Rick says she seemed completely besotted. However, she told him she still wanted to accept the job in D.C. and he agreed they'd work it all out."

"When was this?" Lanie's voice squeaked at the thought of the proposal. And Kate said yes!?

"Monday"

"She saw me the next day and didn't say a thing!" The M.E. could not believe it. As she processed the information, she realized Martha did not look like wedding bells and rainbows were impending. "That's not the whole story, is it?"

"No. No, not by a longshot kiddo. Kate left for D.C. as you know, to get started on her orientation and paperwork." Lanie was nodding; she'd known about that piece and that Kate was supposed to have come back Friday night. "Well, Thursday evening, Rick came back from shopping. He hadn't heard from her since she'd landed Wednesday morning. He found an envelope on the doorstep. It had his ring in it and a letter from Kate telling him she had changed her mind. She didn't love him and she wanted a completely fresh start in D.C." Lanie's face had betrayed her shock and surprise at these events without any vocal outbursts. "I came home last night and found Rick had drunk most of his whiskey and was starting in on the wine. I've never seen him so devastated." Her fists clenched at her sides as anger inevitably crept into her words. "That woman" she spit. "She's killing him."

Lanie felt like she couldn't move. She'd known Kate was scared of marriage and of commitment, but this was cruel on a level she'd never thought Kate Beckett capable of. Something didn't add up here. As she pondered, Lanie realized that Kate would have been engaged when she'd come to talk to her on Tuesday morning. She'd not mentioned one single thing about it. In fact, she'd seemed sick and withdrawn, which Lanie later excused knowing Kate was nervous telling her about quitting the NYPD and taking the job with the AG's office. However, knowing now what had happened subsequently, perhaps her nervousness was because she was about to destroy Writer Boy's life and knew the effect she was going to have on him. Lanie was beginning to think she didn't know her friend very well at all. Not if she could leave this kind of devastation behind her. Kate Beckett had been a broken woman for many, many years. Lanie had thought Rick Castle had helped her mend most of those pieces together again, to the point that she was evolving back into a whole person, but obviously she had been wrong.

"Martha, I don't know what to say. She never told me any of this except about the job." Martha grimaced at the mention of the job. That damn job had torn the fabric of her family apart at the seams. "Is there anything I can do for you, for Rick?"

"No, I'm keeping him from alcohol poisoning but he is drinking enough to try to forget most of the pain. Alexis comes home in three weeks and I hope that will give him enough time to have gotten over the initial darkness so that his baby girl can bring a little light into his life."

Lanie stood, still shaken by all the revelations. "Well, please call me, for anything." She jotted her number down for Martha and turned to leave. Just as she reached the door, she turned back. "Martha, I've been Kate's friend for years. She is a difficult person, maybe a broken person. But I could have sworn with Rick it was different."

Martha blinked back tears, touched at the concern exhibited by the M.E. "I know Lanie, I know. I thought they were good for each other. It almost seemed magical at times. But I hope she never sees my son again." Lanie nodded and left, already fumbling with her phone to call her former lover. She hoped he might have heard from Beckett, but that was counting on the old Beckett; the one that cared about them all. This new Beckett was a mystery.

* * *

Jim Beckett spent a miserable weekend trying to call his only child. He still hadn't heard from her and couldn't shake the feeling that there was something seriously wrong. Her apartment was empty, boxes full of her things that she'd been packing in preparation to move to D.C. He'd been struck by how little she really had at the apartment that was personal. It made sense on one level, since most of her truly personal items had been lost when her other apartment had blown to smithereens. She'd obviously moved some of her stuff to Rick's place too. But Jim also knew that the only two items in the world that she couldn't live without were his watch and her mother's ring. And they were always with her. He didn't think she really needed any other items, and that scared him. A lot if he was being honest with himself.

On Sunday, he'd been struck by the thought that maybe she wasn't in Washington at all. He knew she'd texted Rick that she'd gotten there safely, but she didn't have a place to stay there past Friday. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought about this logically until now. She'd already broken up with Rick before coming back (assuming she had), so she couldn't go to the loft. She hadn't been to her apartment, packed up as it was. She'd not contacted him, so she wasn't staying in his apartment nor answering his calls. As he thought about it, he became convinced she was up at his cabin. It had been her refuge after the shooting and the long recovery. If he knew his Katiebug, she was undoubtedly hurting again, despite what Martha Rodgers seemed to think. Yes, he was certain she was up there. And maybe her cell service was acting up; sometimes it could be spotty upstate (though he'd never actually had any trouble).

He drove up that day, unable to stand the thought that she was up there and hurting alone. As soon as he turned up the driveway and caught a glimpse of the cabin he knew he'd been wrong. He could feel it's emptiness settle in his soul from the car. He went inside anyway and could see no one had been there since his last trip a few weekends ago. In the oppressive stillness that he usually found peaceful, he collapsed on the sofa and began sobbing uncontrollably, terrified for his child and not sure what to do next.

* * *

Kate spent the weekend in a nauseous haze. She still hadn't purged the knockout gas from her system entirely. She found herself running to the bathroom to puke several times. The rest of the time she'd been curled up in a ball on the bed. She'd taken in some liquids, but hadn't eaten anything. She didn't think she could keep anything down even if she'd wanted to. She kept going over in her head the words she'd been forced to write. She'd known they'd shatter him; they did the same to her just by writing them down. But she knew her captor was not making idle threats against the others. She couldn't let one of them die on her account.

When she'd finished the letter, the Voice had returned and instructed her to go into the bathroom and close the door. Once there, she'd heard a large deadbolt slide in place and knew there was no way to surprise her captor. If Kate refused to enter the bathroom, the Voice (not knowing who it was had led to this uninspiring nickname. Castle would have come up with something much better she was sure, but words were his forte while hers was action) would simply not enter the room and would go harm someone she loved. No, she seemed to be well and truly caught in this web with a spider that had covered all angles. Escape was going to be near impossible; she could only hope rescue was a possibility. The Voice had eventually unlocked the bathroom door and Kate had returned to the main room to find the letter she'd written missing from the table where she'd left it. The metal door was unyielding, solidly closed once again.

"Very nice Detective. This is going to destroy him. You're a better writer than I thought."

"Why are you doing this?" Kate was getting tired of not having any answers. "What did I do to you?"

"You? This isn't really about you. You've said for years that you're not really Nikki. Once I'd read the books I knew you weren't lying. You aren't her. He deserves his Nikki. I can give that to him. But he got mixed up with you and instead of moving on like usual you snared him somehow. I've simply removed you from the equation. And with this letter you've written, he'll soon forget about you and I'll be there to pick up the pieces. Once that happens, I'll let you go." And with that, the Voice disappeared. And Kate was left alone with her abject misery, knowing how he'd feel when he read the note. She hoped he was paying attention when he read it but she was afraid that he'd be so broken that he'd miss the tiny clue she'd left him. She started praying like she never had before that he could hold it together enough to see her true message but she knew if their roles were reversed that she'd be too shattered to read between the lines. She drifted off into her timeless prison with his face swimming before her once again. Please pay attention Castle. I need you to find me. I cannot do this alone.


	9. Chapter 8

Lanie finally made her way up to the bullpen near the end of the work day on Monday. She'd had to work like a dog to finish everything on her desk; it was a Monday after all. Normally she would have just stayed late, but tonight she was determined to speak in person with Javi and Kevin about the whole mess that Beckett had left behind. Lucky for her they hadn't had a body drop all day, so they were more than willing to spend time talking about it with her even though she could tell they were very angry at Kate and what she'd done to them and to Castle. Lanie had kept getting frissons of doubt during quiet times during the day about the whole pile of shit that Beckett had fed them. She couldn't put a finger on her disquiet and hoped talking it over in person with both boys would help her identify what was bothering her so much about the entire situation. She knew Javi felt betrayed by Kate, but betrayal was not the emotion that was niggling at her. Javi and Kate had always had a special bond, being so alike in personality. They were both driven by the need for action. However, she was surprised to find Kevin seemingly equally affected, though in a quieter way. She'd already told Javi about the revelations from Martha on Saturday morning, and he'd told Ryan in turn. Lanie decided to rehash it again with both of them just to make sure that all three were on the same page and so she could see Ryan's reactions to the story in person. She was really hoping for some more clarity about why she felt so unsure about Kate's leaving. Something just didn't fit. She was nearly finished recounting the end of her conversation with Martha to the men when she felt Javi stiffen next to her. He was facing the elevators and appeared to be staring at a new arrival to the floor.

"What is _he_ doing here?" he whispered. Lanie turned to see who he was referring to. Surely it wouldn't be Castle. He wouldn't be sober for days if you took Martha at her word.

"Mr. Beckett, is there something we can do for you?" Javi called out. Lanie finally caught sight of Kate's father. She gasped in shock. He looked like he'd aged 20 years and seemed to be standing through sheer force of will.

Jim turned his haggard eyes on them and approached them slowly. "Detective Esposito, Detective Ryan. Lanie. I need your help. I want you to find my daughter."

Kevin cleared his throat. "Um, sir, she's in Washington. We don't know where exactly…" He trailed off as Jim started shaking his head.

"No, no, NO. She's not there." He seemed so certain. Lanie listened with disbelief then shock and fear as he explained everything he'd discovered to the three of them. Suddenly she felt felt something click into place in her head. It was such an obvious sound in her head that for a second she felt the whole bullpen must have heard it. Now she knew why she'd been so emotionally labile since her talk with Martha two days ago. Subconsciously she'd recognized there was much more to the story but her anger at Kate had hidden that realization from her . Something had happened to Kate Beckett; she was not the person Lanie had been imagining that she didn't know, breaking everyone apart and shattering their friend. Something larger was at play. They had to find her. And Castle had to get his sorry ass sober to help them do it.

Javi and Kevin were looking at each other with the same realization. Beckett was in trouble. This was something they could help with. Javi turned back to Jim. "Have you spoken to Castle about this?"

"No, I was afraid to go there. Martha told me Friday he'd been drinking and I wasn't sure he'd be sober enough to understand the implications."

Lanie spoke. "We need to go to Castle's place. Martha said there was a note. Maybe it will have some evidence on it. Fingerprints or DNA."

Javi and Ryan both looked a little doubtful. But it was a place to start.

Jim looked up at this statement. "That's right, there's a note. Martha mentioned it, but I'd forgotten in all the …." He trailed off. "We need to make him let me read it. Maybe there's a message there that he missed." Lanie felt a sudden spurt of hope. Kate was a smart, resourceful woman. Lanie was sure she would have found a way to give them something to help them find her.

Kevin spoke up again. "If we're going to open an investigation, we're going to have to tell Gates. She needs to know."

Javi grimaced a bit, but he knew Kev was right. Gates had softened a lot on the whole Castle thing and he knew she had resources and contacts that might come in handy with this type of investigation. After hearing Jim's story she agreed that Espo and Ryan should take some fingerprint dust and swabs to Castle's loft and examine the letter. Lanie phoned Martha on the way to warn her they were coming, though she didn't mention what Jim had found or why they were really coming.

* * *

Knocking on the door, it was quickly opened by Martha. To Lanie's surprise, Castle was awake, or rather upright, sitting in a chair in the living room. He seemed oblivious to their presence though, staring at the floor and periodically sipping from an open bottle of what appeared to be scotch. Lanie teared up at the sight of him, looking so lost and soulless. If Martha was surprised to see Jim with them, she didn't mention it beyond a raised eyebrow. Lanie led them all into the living room, where they all found places around Castle to sit and talk. He still hadn't acknowledged any of them or even looked up. Once they were settled, Martha couldn't wait anymore.

"Lanie, what is this all about?"

"Martha, Castle; something about this whole thing is wrong. I know on the surface it appears Kate has left us all behind, but Jim thinks something else is going on. Please listen to what he has to say; I think he's right."

Castle had finally stirred a bit at her words. When she said Kate's name he'd looked up, bleary eyed. He seemed to notice Jim's presence first. "What is _he_ doing here? Jim, you need to leave. Now. I don't want to hear anything from a Beckett ever again."

Lanie blanched at the raw hurt in his voice. He was so broken, she suddenly wasn't sure they were going to be able to reach him.

Martha moved to her son. "Richard, let's hear them out first."

Jim slid forward on his chair. He seemed to only have eyes for Rick, directing all of his words straight at the younger man. "Rick, I am so sorry Kate is gone. None of this makes any sense to me. She loves you." At this Castle started shaking his head violently. Martha stilled him with a touch and Jim continued "She does love you. She never let anyone in after her mother died and I got lost in a bottle, like you're doing to yourself now. Nothing and no one affected her until you came along and she found her soul mate. She became a person who was able to open up, to smile and laugh again. You made her a better person. She has a lot of flaws, I know that better than anyone. She's stubborn and once she chooses a course of action it's hard to change her mind. But she's also incredibly loyal and has an acute sense of honor, you know that. She is empathetic to a fault. She would never break up with you like this, with a letter on a doorstep. And even if you don't want to give her the benefit of that, you must know that she'd never leave me behind either. She saw what happened to me after we lost Johanna. I'm in a much better place now, but she wouldn't simply abandon me."

Rick was no longer shaking his head and appeared to be listening. How much he was taking in was hard to say. Lanie feared for him. The news he was about to hear was going to destroy him all over again.

"Rick, I haven't talked to her since last Monday. She called me to invite me to your dinner. She never called or texted me after that day to tell me not to come. I don't know if you're aware, but I showed up here Friday ready to hear whatever news you two were planning to give Martha and I. I spent the whole weekend trying to reach her after Martha told me what had happened. I've never gotten through, not once. I started thinking about where she might be without her cell working, so on Sunday I drove up to the cabin to see if she was there or had been there."

That stirred something in Rick. He knew what that cabin meant to Kate, knew it was a refuge for her. She had spoken about it at times with him when she was feeling especially vulnerable. He knew it was a place she might return to if under great stress.

"She wasn't there Rick. No one had been since I'd last been there a few weeks ago. The place was just empty, like her old apartment. She's not been to see me either. Where would she go Rick? She's got no other places."

"Washington" Rick whispered. The bottle of scotch trembled in his hands, sloshing the liquid around. The noise reminded him of what he was holding; Castle stared at the bottle in confusion then took a long pull from it before continuing in a terse, harsh voice "She's in Washington. Without me. She didn't want me there."

Jim leaned forward even more. Javi knew what was coming. He was sitting closest to Castle, knew he might have to catch him with the blow that was about to rain down.

"No Rick, she's not there. I called the Attorney General's office today looking for her, wanting to know she's safe. Took me hours, but I finally spoke to an Agent Stack. He said he'd offered her the job in the first place." Jim could see that Rick knew the name. "He told me she never showed up for her first interview. They called her on Wednesday morning when she was late and she told them she'd decided to turn down the job after all. They never saw or spoke to her again."

Castle heard a roaring sound rushing over his head, as if he was drowning in a waterfall that had erupted spontaneously in the living room of his loft. The roaring was pierced by a deep cry that reverberated into his soul. It was a broken, black noise that keened out in utter despair. It wasn't until much later that he realized that sound was him screaming her name as he finally realized his Kate, his beautiful, wonderful Kate, was missing and he'd not even noticed because he was too busy trying to forget her at the bottom of a bottle.


	10. Chapter 9

Javi and Kevin carried Castle between them to his bedroom. He'd simply passed out after his soul rendering scream. Lanie had checked his respirations and breathing and felt like he was stable. This had been a blackout brought on by psychological pain, not cardiovascular collapse.

Silence reigned as they each tried to find some new equilibrium after watching Castle's second descent into hell. As the boys helped Castle get settled, Martha played hostess, recognizing that they all needed some form of normality from the angst the evening had brought them so far. She had Jim help her gather some cheese and crackers as well as some fruit that she found in the fridge. She opened a bottle of wine and got out a soft drink for Jim, then set about serving everyone as they slowly all regrouped in the living room. At first there was a lighter atmosphere with the easy chit chat of friends as they talked about anything that didn't touch on subjects named Kate or Richard. With time that light atmosphere deepened and they eventually fell into a heavy silence once again, until Martha asked the most obvious question. "What do we do now?"

Lanie spoke first. "Do you know where he put her note? I think Jim needs to read it. Maybe she left a clue behind, something to point us in the right direction."

"Yes, I think I know where it is. But, do you really think something happened to her? Maybe she decided to leave everything in her life and start over from total scratch." Martha was still having difficulty recognizing that her anger at Kate disappearing might be misplaced.

Jim spoke hoarsely. The restrained emotion in his voice was as compelling as his words. "Would Rick be able to leave everyone in his life and start a new one without speaking to you?"

"Well, no, but he's not Kate Beckett. She retreats into herself when faced with difficult emotions. And he has a daughter. She doesn't have any children." Martha knew this was highly unfair, but couldn't help to continue to blame Kate for her son's condition. Her instinct to protect him overrode everything else, even though she had come to love Kate as a daughter.

"I realize that Martha. But I'm telling you she'd never leave me alone like this. When I'd recovered from my alcoholism with her help and support, I told her that she alone had saved my life. It was the truth, and she knew it. I gave her my watch to let her know how much I'd counted on her and it's one of the most important possessions she owns. I think that watch and her mother's ring are the only things she saved after her apartment blew up. She wouldn't risk letting me slide back into that life if she disappeared. Something is wrong."

Martha's anger suddenly guttered out. She heard the sincerity in his voice and knew he was speaking the truth. "I'll go get it. It's with Richard."

While she disappeared into the bedroom, Espo and Ryan prepared the swabs and the dusting kit. Once she returned, they carefully processed the letter. It had been crumpled into a tiny ball as if Castle thought crushing the words would give them less power. That obviously hadn't worked, so he'd retreated into a boozy haze instead. Lanie didn't hold out much hope of useable prints or DNA given the condition of the letter, but recognized it was worth a try. When the boys finished processing it, they gave the letter to Jim.

"It's definitely her writing" he said as he first glanced at it. He started reading and Lanie found herself holding her breath. She watched as his hands started shaking and tears started flowing down his cheeks. He looked up at them then. "She's in trouble. It's her writing, but there is a message. She must have been forced to write this." The letter dropped out of his numb hands as his sobs deepened. The rest of them sat in stunned silence. They'd known something was very wrong, but to have Jim state it so baldly finally gave rise to all their worst fears. Kate Beckett was missing. And they hadn't been looking for her. They'd believed the worst of her and because of that they had let 5 days pass without even realizing she was gone.

Lanie was the first to move, picking up the letter from the floor. "Look, we know Jim caught a message off of this. We all know her in different contexts. Maybe there are others. Let's copy this thing, all read it and see what we come up with."

"Great idea Lanie. Richard has a copier/printer/fax machine in his office. Martha ran out to make copies of the letter. When she returned a short time later, she distributed a copy to each person there and they all started reading.

**Rick,**

**There's no easy way to say this, so I'm not going to drag this out. I know I told you yes when you asked me to marry you. I thought that's what I truly wanted. Now I've had a few days to think about it and I've realized this is all a mistake. You don't really want me. I'm not who you're meant to be with; you've confused me with Nikki and that's not who I am and can never be. And I don't want you. I don't want to marry you and I don't want to continue with this life. I've been relying on my own wits since my freshman year at NYU; I've never even lived outside of the city. It's time for a change, and I've decided with this new job in Washington that it's time to make a fresh start with no baggage from my old life. I want to be free of you and your playboy lifestyle. Goodbye Rick. I'm returning your ring and I hope someday soon you find your true Nikki Heat.**

**Always,**

**Katherine**

As everyone finished reading, Lanie knew Jim was right. Kate was sending messages. She prayed they could decipher them correctly.

"Ok, what do we notice?" Ryan, always the detective, had a pad and pen out ready to jot down ideas.

"Jim, you start" encouraged Lanie after no one seemed ready to talk. On the surface the letter was crushing and Lanie understood how Castle had reacted, especially with the ring as tangible evidence that the letter's message was clear: I want out of this relationship. No wonder he'd been drunk. Hell, she would probably have been comatose had it been her in his place.

"The most obvious is the reference to NYU" said Jim. "She went to Stanford for her first year but then Johanna died and she had to come back. A few years ago during the holidays one of her cousins was teasing her that she'd never left New York her whole life. She completely dressed him down; you know how she can get if she's angry." Jim gave a wry smile as they all nodded, distracted by the imagery. Kate mad was a frightening specter. "She was very happy in California, at least until we lost her mom. Not only that, she spent a semester abroad in Kiev. This letter ignores all of that very pointedly; I know she's telling us that while she's writing this she doesn't believe the words and we shouldn't either."

"Ok, so that establishes that she is writing the letter but it's clearly being directed by someone else. That person wants us to think she's in D.C. and has left us all behind without a second thought." Lanie puzzled on this a bit. "Anything else?"

"I've never heard her call him Rick. In the precinct she's always called him Castle. That seems odd to me." Lanie nodded to Javi's comment. She'd never heard Kate refer to him as Rick either.

"She calls him Castle here in the loft, at least in front of me" Martha said pensively.

"Castle to me too" said Jim.

"Ok, so not sure what that means, but it's definitely weird. We'll have to ask Castle about it" said Ryan as he jotted it all down.

"Ask me what?" they all turned in unison and saw Castle swaying unsteadily on his feet in the doorway from the office to the living room.

"Richard, you should be in bed" Martha scolded as she rushed to his side.

"No mother. Kate needs me and all I've done so far is let her down. Let me help."

Javi supported him to the closest chair where he sat down heavily. Lanie wasn't sure how he was able to be conscious let alone able to think. She could see his determination radiating from him in waves.

"We were looking at the letter trying to see if there are any clues as to what happened to her" Jim said softly, peering closely at Castle as the younger man cradled his head in his hands. Seeing Castle nod, Ryan told him about the clue from her about NYU. Castle groaned loudly as he realized he'd completely missed that reference.

Lanie jumped in "Castle, no one here can blame you for missing anything. This letter is absolutely heartbreaking for me to read and I didn't propose to Kate. We all understand why you reacted the way that you did."

Rick wouldn't look up. "But I should have seen it, should have known. I was so quick to believe the worst of her and now we've wasted days not looking for her. I'll never forgive myself if we can't find her or if…." His voice trailed off.

"If nothing. Now you listen to me Writer Boy. We are going to figure this out and we are going to find Kate Beckett. You hear me? You're going to put that ring back where it belongs because there is no way in hell I'm missing out on being Kate Beckett's maid of honor. Are you listening to me Castle?" Lanie felt like she had to mentally slap him out of his funk. After a few seconds passed, his shoulders started shaking. Thinking he was breaking down into tears, Lanie was afraid her tactic had backfired. It wasn't until he finally raised his head out of his hands for the first time since collapsing in the chair that she realized he was laughing. Not a happy laugh but better than tears at this point.

"Lanie, you're right" he gasped. "She'll hunt me down and kill me if I don't get this ring back on her finger. What else have we got?"

"Well, we were wondering if her decision to use your name the way she did was significant" Ryan spoke. "We've all heard her call you Castle. But she opens the letter to 'Rick'."

Castle sat silently, a faraway look in his eyes. Lanie wasn't sure he was really hearing any of it and was about to suggest they move on to the rest of the letter when Martha surprised her by speaking up.

"Richard, kiddo. Are you still there?" Castle looked up at his mother with a more lucid look in his eyes. "Richard, I've heard you call her Kate or Beckett, but she's never called you anything but Castle with all of us around. Does her calling you Rick mean anything?"

The silence started to draw out again before Castle gave a visible shake of his head; it was not in a negative manner but more as if he were shaking off memories he'd rather get lost in.

"Yes, she calls me Rick. But only in private, only when we're…uh…." He trailed off awkwardly. He wasn't going to tell them just how private this name was when it came from Kate Beckett's lips; how she screamed it to him in the depths of her passion or when she whispered it to him in their bed as they talked about all the mundane things that lovers discuss at night. He didn't need to say anything, not when one look at him told them everything.

No one moved as it hit them just how private some of these messages really were. Castle finally continued with some effort "I thought when I first read that damn letter she'd used that name on purpose to wound me even further, but I guess what she was really trying to do was grab my attention." He buried his head in his hands again and once more the silence surrounding them was broken only by the sobs of a shattered man.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks so much for everyone who has taken the time to review this story. I love reading the comments and it's so gratifying to know there are others out there who are interested in this story. I really appreciate all that have added this as a favorite or have followed me. You motivate me to get this done faster!**

* * *

Martha moved once again to comfort her only child. Lanie fully expected that Javi and Ryan would once again be pressed into dragging him back to his bed but Castle surprised her when his sobs ceased relatively quickly. He was really determined to help them figure out the letter's message. She hoped they weren't overanalyzing the whole thing, but then remembered that this was Kate Beckett they were talking about. Lanie smiled to herself, comforted by the memories of her fiercely intelligent friend. No, they probably could not overanalyze this letter. The real question was if they could figure out what she was saying.

"What else did people notice?" Ryan wondered once Castle had regained some control.

"What about the closing?" Javi wondered. Seeing the blank looks on the faces around him, he continued "It seems like a strange way to end a letter. I would have just said 'love' or 'good luck' or 'have a nice life' or something like that." Lanie somehow managed to refrain from chastising her sometime lover. He could be such a _man_ at times. So freaking_ literal_.

Castle felt all the eyes turn towards him. He was silent for a minute, hoping someone else might rescue him from this next revelation but they all kept waiting on his thoughts. "That's probably the only true part of the letter" he said hesitantly; now knowing what the letter was really about made this obvious, at least to him. "It's kind of our thing." No one spoke. No one even moved. It was clear they didn't really understand what he was thinking, forcing him to continue. "I've said it to her for years meaning I was never leaving, would wait for her until she figured out that we were meant to be. Once she did, she started saying it to me as well. It's more than just a simple closing; it is everything we are to each other."

Once more the room settled into uncomfortable silence. They all knew how difficult it was to reveal the intimate secrets of two lovers, secrets laid bare for them all to know. Fortunately, everyone in the loft loved Castle and Kate without reservation so while it was uncomfortable, Castle knew each and every one of the people who now knew so much about their private life (and were likely to learn much more until they found her) would move heaven and earth to help him find her again. That fact helped buoy him up, gave him much needed strength to prevent him from withdrawing into a gibbering fetal ball.

"Her name at the end" said Jim suddenly, startling everyone at the intrusive sound of his voice in the silence. "She never, ever refers to herself as Katherine. Her mother called her that and after Jo died Katie never wanted anyone else to use it."

Castle looked up a bit startled at his mother, who'd blushed a bit. "Except mother calls her that now" he said slowly after Martha seemed ready to never speak again. "She has never seemed to mind it." Jim looked at them with a slightly strangled look then finally said "I guess that means she thinks of you as a maternal figure then Martha. She's never allowed anyone else to use it."

Martha looked stricken for a second then stood and ran into the office sobbing. She waved off Lanie who'd stood to go after her. It took a few minutes to compose herself, crying in fear for Kate but also guilt for her earlier vindictiveness against her when she thought she'd callously discarded her son and their family. She felt unworthy of Kate and this latest revelation; now knowing how much Kate seemed to value her the guilt was overwhelming. However, she also knew her son needed her more this time than probably at any point in his life, so she gathered herself again and rejoined the others in time to hear their next discussion point.

"The only other thing I see that seems odd is that she references Nikki Heat several times" said Lanie. "She really makes a point that she's not Nikki and that you should be looking for love with someone like Nikki. I don't understand what, if anything, this means."

Castle watched as his family (both by blood and by sweat and tears) pondered Lanie's words.

"Is she Nikki, or is Nikki her?" Jim asked Castle. He'd wondered about this for years since he'd first heard the author was basing a character off his daughter. He'd read the books, all of them. His and Kate's relationship was not a particularly intimate one. They loved each other and wanted the best for each other, but when he'd managed to crawl out of the bottle after his wife's death he'd discovered that Kate had grown into an independent woman without him. She'd had to, given all he'd let pile on her. But those lost years also meant he had never managed more than a toehold in his daughter's life. Reading the Heat novels had made him wonder how much of the character was his daughter. He'd thought perhaps he'd understand her a bit better if he could read about her in the books. He'd just never had the opportunity to ask how much was really his Kate.

The author hesitated for the span of 5 or 6 breaths. He didn't normally need to think about words, especially words about her, but he wanted to make sure he conveyed his true feelings as clearly as possible for his loved ones that gathered around him.

"When I first met Kate and started following her around, the idea of Nikki was born from some of her best qualities and other qualities that I thought were necessary to make Nikki interesting to write. Like her sluttiness" he added hastily as he saw some protests rising in their throats. "Kate is a confident, intelligent woman who is tough, strong and moral. Nikki is all that, but she is also someone who is flawed in ways that Kate is not. Nikki is not Kate; she comes from a combination of her and from me. Now that Kate and I have finally gotten together, naturally I've been able to know her in ways I never could have when the concept of Nikki was born. Plus, during that time we've both changed in many ways. I love the character of Nikki and she's done very well for me, but Kate is so much more than Nikki could ever be. She has a capacity for love that takes my breath away. She carries me when I need her to and lets me carry her when she needs me. Before I knew her love I thought I had a great life: father, son, great career, friends with interesting people. Then I met Kate Beckett and realized what I thought was a great life was but a shadow of what I have with her. Her presence alone brings light to a dark room, makes the moon and stars twinkle in the sky just for me. She makes me whole, makes me want to be a better person just so I can show her how much she means to me. I would give up ever writing a Nikki Heat novel, or any novel, ever again if I could just make sure she's safe. Nikki means nothing to me without her."

Lanie and Martha both had tears streaming down their faces as he finished his declaration. Ryan was swallowing rapidly and even Javi seemed to have something in his eyes that required rubbing with his fists. Jim simply seemed stunned by the soliloquy of love from Castle. They'd all watched Kate and Castle through the years. While their love had been obvious to the people sitting there, nothing had ever been easy between the two. There were times they'd all thought these two were never going to wake up and realize what they had. Castle's words made it clear he knew what he had with Kate and they all knew how he would fall apart without her. His recent drinking was evidence of his inability to function without her.

Ryan was the first to break into the moment. "So, is there anything else?" No one spoke. While they all thought mentioning Nikki was strange, they couldn't figure out the meaning of the references. "Ok, to rephrase, we have a letter that we all agree is from Beckett." Everyone nodded at the Irishman, so he continued. "We think she wrote this letter but does not mean what it says. Our evidence for this is that she uses a name that is fairly private between her and Castle" Ryan blushed a bit with this, but when he saw the rest of the group slowly nodding their heads he continued. "She signs off with a name that no one except her mother and Martha use. And she claims to have lived in New York for all her life when we all know that isn't true. So, based on these facts we think she doesn't want the rest of the letter, namely the fact that she's leaving Castle, to be believed. Anything I've missed?"

Lanie spoke up "I would add that she's trying to give us a message about Nikki Heat but we're not sure what that message is." Ryan nodded and wrote it down.

"What's next?" Martha asked.

"When is the last time you saw her Castle?" Javi asked.

"Wednesday morning" said Castle dully.

"But exactly when?" Javi persisted

"I walked her downstairs to her cab. She had called for one to take her to the airport. It was about 7:30 in the morning."

"Ok, what we need to do first is figure out if she even left New York. Ryan and I will ping her cell from the texts she sent you Castle. I'm not sure we can use the call the AG's office made since we have no idea which number they were using on their end. We'll check with the airlines to see if she caught the flight. And if you can let us know which cab service she used, they might be able to tell us directly."

Castle gave Espo the information he needed. Knowing they needed to make a start on the investigation after so much time had elapsed, they said their goodbyes to everyone with plans to regroup the next evening at the loft and go over everything they'd learned. Lanie left with them, giving Castle a bear hug before exiting the apartment. She whispered to him "I've got some leave saved up, I'm going to ask for a few days. I can't work on other cases knowing my girl is out there." Castle started to protest, but saw in her eyes that nothing would deter her. "Kate is so lucky to have such a good friend" he whispered back.

"I'm your friend as well Castle. I'll be back in the morning and we'll start figuring out what to do. Get some rest, that girl of yours will need your strength."

After saying goodbye to the three of them, Castle turned back to his mom and Jim. Martha could see how exhausted her son was. "Richard, go lie down. We can't do anything tonight. You need to be fresh for tomorrow." He knew she was right, though he didn't think he'd sleep until Kate was home.

Jim was still sitting down, staring into space. As he heard Martha telling Castle to go to bed, he realized it was time to go. He just didn't want to leave place that his Katie had come to think of as home. He could feel her presence in the loft and the thought of losing that feeling was terrifying. As he stood irresolutely, Martha laid her hand on him.

"Jim, I know this is hard. Hard on all of us. I was wondering if you'd consider staying here. There is a spare room. I know it's an imposition, but I'd feel better having someone else here with me in case Richard has more problems. Plus, that way you're here at ground zero of operation 'find Katherine'."

Jim hesitated, not sure if the owner of the apartment would want him here. Castle had heard his mother addressing Jim and waited for an answer. When Jim seemed to struggle with the decision, Castle decided to help. "Jim, please stay. Kate would want you here. _ I_ want you here. You're part of our family, and we need each other more than ever."

With these words, Jim simply nodded his acceptance. He was so grateful they were including him. Castle turned and went into his bedroom. He knew his mother would get Jim settled. Not bothering with his usual nighttime routine, he simply stripped his clothes off and collapsed on the bed. He chose Kate's side just to feel closer to her. He was certain he wouldn't sleep, but his exhausted body chose otherwise. As he drifted off, arms clutching her pillow and nostrils finding her lingering scent, he sent her a mental plea. 'Hang on Kate, we'll find you. Just hang on.'


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is the longest chapter by far. I have the next chapter nearly finished as well, but there may be some delay for future installments. Getting ready to spend a month out of the country and I have a bunch of stuff to arrange. I'll definitely be writing a lot once I get to my destination though! The worst part is that I'll be missing 4 episodes of Season 6. I may go crazy.**

* * *

Kate's reaction to the anesthetic had finally worn off and she was left feeling bereft but no longer nauseous. Not knowing the time in days or hours was very disorienting. She spent most of it in complete darkness, curled on the bed alone with her memories of her life. Most of the time was spent with _him_, but she also chose to have moments with all of her close friends and family. She wondered what they were doing, how they'd react to the letter, to her disappearance. She had enough self-realization to know that there was a chance they'd accept it on face value. Her entire adult life had been focused on the need to find justice for her mother. It had defined her entire being with no room for other relationships until _he'd_ been dropped into her life and single handedly destroyed so many of her defense mechanisms. She thought of Lanie and the boys as extended family but she knew she'd never really let them in all the way. Rick had been the only one to breach her walls and their recent problems had once again made her more distant with everyone in her life. She'd been eager to take the job with the AG office knowing that it would provide her with a much bigger platform to bring down Bracken. Even with the knowledge that it might threaten her relationship with Rick, she'd gone forward full bore. Now faced with the prospect of never being in his life again, she finally understood what he meant to her. He'd trusted her enough to let her take the job, had told her he'd be there no matter what she decided. Suddenly she sat up, turning on the bedside light and chasing the dark from her cell. He would never give up on her; he'd told her that many times. She couldn't give up on him. She had to stay strong and whole until he found her or she found a way out of this mess. Decision made, she went to the kitchenette to fix her first real meal since she'd been taken. She'd get cleaned up and start some yoga and body weight exercises that wouldn't require much room to do. It was not a large cell after all. She_ was_ going to hang on, for Rick and for the life they deserved together. She was going to fight for him.

* * *

When Castle finally woke the next morning, he heard soft voices from the living room. He was surprised he didn't have more of a hangover after all the alcohol he'd drunk trying to forget her letter. Knowing how much she needed him now chased all other physical discomforts from his mind. He started to dress and join the voices, but soon realized he hadn't showered in several days and his complete lack of hygiene was not a pleasant scent. After showering, shaving and dressing, he finally joined Martha and Jim, now in the kitchen. Martha came over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You smell like…wait a minute, is that Kate's cherry shampoo?" Castle jumped a bit. He hadn't been able to resist, but hadn't considered someone might notice. Time to turn the topic of conversation away from him before she figured out he had a pair of Kate's underwear (clean!) in his pocket. They smelled so much like her, it helped anchor him. Just fingering their silkiness in his pocket made him feel more grounded.

"Any news?" he asked.

"Nothing so far" his mother replied, setting a fresh coffee and a plate of food down in front of him at the counter where he had sat down next to Jim. "Eat Richard; you're going to need the strength."

Castle dug in to the plate knowing she was right. Just as he was finishing they heard a knock at the door.

"That'll be Lanie; she texted me earlier" said Martha as she sailed off to answer the door.

Castle jumped off the stool, praying she was bringing some news, any news of Kate. One look at her face he knew she didn't have any good news.

"Lanie, please take a seat" Martha was saying. Castle slumped down in his, not able to look the M.E. in the face again.

"Lanie, have you heard from detectives Esposito or Ryan?" Jim was asking.

"Yes, and Jim you need to call them Espo and Ryan. Or Javi and Kevin" said Lanie. "No need for formalities among family" she finished with a smile as she slid onto a seat next to Castle.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee, breakfast?" Martha asked. She had seen Richard's reaction to Lanie and wanted to stall any bad news for a minute or two so he could get himself under control again.

"Some coffee would be great, but I've already grabbed a bagel on my way over here" Lanie responded.

After Martha delivered a fresh cup to her, Lanie spoke again. Castle was still staring at the counter, refusing to look at her but he knew she was directing most of her words directly to him.

"Javi and Kev went back to the precinct last night after leaving here to start tracking down leads like we discussed last night. The first thing they did was to call the airline. Kate had a ticket for Washington but she never used it. As far as we know she never made it to D.C." She stopped when she felt Castle start trembling, but continued when nothing further happened. "They also called the cab company you used. They said they never picked her up." Castle visibly jumped and finally looked at her.

"I saw her get into the cab. I was _there_" he said.

"Yes, you saw her get into _a_ cab. But it wasn't one from the company you called. Their cab arrived about five minutes after she left. The driver waited a few minutes and then your doorman came out to ask who they were waiting for. The cabbie told him it was for Kate Beckett and the doorman told him she'd already left. They just figured she'd hailed a cab."

"She didn't. It pulled up like it was expecting her" Castle was certain. She definitely hadn't hailed a cab; they'd been too busy saying goodbye.

"We thought that might be the case; let me text the boys. They were thinking about getting a warrant for the cameras in your building and the ones that cover this street. Now they'll definitely be able to get Markham to sign off on this" she said as she took her phone out.

"I'm going down to the precinct. I have to help them find her" Castle announced. Martha sighed. They'd all been expecting this, knowing once his head was semi-cleared of his grief and alcohol he'd want to dive into the investigation.

"You can't" Lanie said. They'd planned for this, had to keep him home until the boys had cleared it with Gates.

"I'm sorry? Did you just say I_ can't_?" His voice rose, making it clear he did not understand her meaning.

"You can't go today Castle" she said gently. "Gates hasn't decided if she's going to let you into all of this. Javi and Kev are going to be speaking to her today about it all. Frankly, if she saw you like this, there's no way she'd let you in."

Castle was ready to protest, fight for what he wanted, but looking at his mother he saw naked fear in her eyes. Fear for what he would do. His words collapsed into mere spittle in his mouth. Lanie was right; Gates would never trust him in this condition. He had to get it together, give it a day then hopefully worm his way in to the precinct.

"Ok, I'll wait" he told them, relief palpable in their body language. They'd thought it might take physical restraint to keep him away.

* * *

Castle excused himself from the others when he heard a skype call coming from his laptop in the office. Alexis' familiar picture accompanied the prompt to accept the call.

"Sweetheart, why are you calling so early? Is everything alright?"

"Dad, I'm fine. I was worried about you. Grams said you and Beckett had a fight and that she left you. I can't believe she would hurt you so much again! Do you need me to come home? Just say the word and I'll hop on the next flight."

"Oh Pumpkin, no I'm fine. We didn't break up. Well, she…" he broke off as Alexis' face showed growing confusion.

"Grams said you proposed to her and she said yes then later returned the ring and left for Washington without you. She said that she didn't want to see us…you ever again. I hate her!"

"Alexis, that's all true, on the surface. But she never made it to D.C. She didn't even get on the plane. We think she's been kidnapped, held against her will, and made to write the letter to me. Espo and Ryan are working to find her. Kate's dad and Lanie are here with your Grams and I to try and figure it all out too."

Alexis had clasped her hand over her mouth as she listened to the story. "So she's not…she didn't…Oh God! Is she alright?"

"We're pretty sure from a couple of clues in the letter she sent me that she wrote it against her will, didn't mean it."

"Then why were you so upset when you got it?" Realization dawned on her face before he had a chance to answer. "You believed it at first, didn't you? Oh Dad, I'm so sorry."

Castle felt tears threatening again. "Yes, all I could see was that she was rejecting me. I fell apart Alexis, and because of that we've wasted nearly a week without looking for her. I'll never forgive myself if we find her too la.."

"Dad!" she was interrupting, but she didn't care. "Don't think like that. You're going to find her. I'm coming home, I want to help."

"No, I can't ask that of you. It's not fair; I've got plenty of people here to help."

"Dad, I want to come home. Do you really think I'll be able to have fun down here knowing you all are desperately searching for her? Not knowing all the updates? It's going to kill me."

"Alexis, you were so excited about this trip. Don't cut it short for me. I'm not very good company right now."

"Dad, it's for me as well as for you. I love Kate too. When I thought she'd hurt you again I was ready to hate her for her actions, but once you guys started dating and I got to know her better I found myself falling in love with her as well. She's like the big sister I never had, or…maybe like the mom I wish I had."

Castle just looked at his baby girl. He knew her own mother hadn't been there for Alexis as she grew up. Kate had made some efforts to have a relationship with Alexis, certainly more than Meredith had ever done. Alexis had always liked Kate but had been leery of Kate's capacity to hurt him. Like after her shooting when she'd pushed him out of her life for an entire summer. He had not done well during that time, and this was before they'd become a couple. Alexis was there to help hold the pieces of his life together and was scared of what might happen now that he and Kate were a couple. He hadn't considered that Alexis might have her own feelings for Kate, feelings just as important as his own.

"Ok baby. I'll make some calls this morning about getting you home early. You should go and talk to your professor, make sure this is something that you won't regret later."

"Dad, the only thing I'd regret is not being there for Kate and for you. I'll call later tonight?"

"Ok. We're going to be meeting together tonight to go over what we know, so you could join in unless we find a flight out today."

"I doubt I'll be able to leave today, so I'll call. I'm hoping for a flight tomorrow. That way I can get all the things I need to do here finished."

"Ok, love you. Be careful Alexis."

"Love you dad."

Castle hung up with her and just sat in his chair, thinking for a minute. He'd considered Alexis safe in Costa Rica, away from this mess. This was rich considering how he'd dragged his feet in the first place about letting her go. Now that she was going to be coming home early, he was faced with the fear that perhaps another member of his family would be targeted. He wished his dad was around, but he had no way to contact him. His mind kept coming back to the biggest threat in Beckett's life and he couldn't lose the niggling fear that more people than Kate might be in danger. He couldn't talk about it in front of his mom and Jim as they'd never been included in the whole sordid scandal. Decision made, he dialed Espo after making sure his office doors were closed.

"Castle, I'm gonna see you in a few hours. You're interrupting my flow man."

"Sorry Espo, but this can't wait and we can't discuss it openly." He heard Espo's sigh, then continued. "Do you think this could be Bracken? Maybe he's figured out she was bluffing."

Ryan had overheard Espo say Castle's name and had scooted his chair close enough he could hear without the need for speakerphone.

"Dude, we've thought about it. Ryan and I talked about when we drove back to the precinct last night. But if it were…_him_…don't you think he would've just killed her outright? Why would he kidnap her?"

Castle was silent as he considered this argument. "Maybe he's torturing her to give up her file?" he finally ventured. His voice cracked on the thought of her being hurt.

"She told us the deal was for her and for the people she loved. Then there's the fact that she saved his life later. I think they have achieved a pretty stable level at this point. What could possibly make him change the battlefield now?"

Kevin spoke up next. "Castle, I know he has been behind a lot of the pain and suffering Beckett's experienced. But think about the letter man. It's aimed at you bro. It says 'forget about me' 'find your real Nikki.' Would he even care about you, except to find out if you had access to the information in the non-existent file? No, I think this is someone else. We can't rule him out, but I think it's really unlikely."

"You're right guys, I hadn't thought about it that way. Ok, I'll see you tonight? I hope you have some better news for me."

"We love her too man, we're chasing everything we can. Gates has us working on nothing else. We're gonna find her, believe that."

They hung up, and Castle spent the next few hours working on getting Alexis home and letting Gina and Paula know that he needed to cancel every meeting he had for the next few days. They were upset, but he didn't tell them anymore than it was a family emergency. Gina had tried unsuccessfully to use her status as ex-family to get more out of him, but both she and Paula heard the anguish in his voice and didn't press as hard as they might have under different circumstances. Jim had gone to get clothes and toiletries for an extended stay at the loft and Lanie and Martha threw themselves into planning dinner for everyone that night and cleaning up after Rick's lost weekend in the bottle. They all tried to think of anything other than Kate Beckett and they all failed miserably.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry for delay. Busy at work. Didn't help that I originally tried something different with this chapter and was really unhappy about it. Deleted all that and came up with the words below. I think this works better. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

She hadn't seen him at all since she'd taken Kate from him. Though she had been careful to obtain a position with close access, Kate's disappearance had driven him into the privacy of his loft where she couldn't get to him at all. She'd not anticipated this; he was supposed to look for comfort in the face of his fiancée's rejection and she'd been prepared to offer it. Obviously, the letter Kate had written hadn't been enough to convince him she was never going to be his again. Well, this time she'd make Kate be crystal clear. Then he could get on with the business of forgetting Kate Beckett; a job she would help him with.

* * *

Kate was trying to read one of the books she'd found in her cell. She'd finished what she was calling lunch an hour ago after spending a few hours (more? less? not having a clock was driving her crazy) exercising. By her admittedly fuzzy concept of time she thought she'd been missing 4 days. She was trying to keep track on a piece of paper. She was keeping a journal, though most of that was about her internal thoughts since nothing much went on in the cell besides eating, sleeping and exercising. She was certain they must be looking for her by now, though she was also sure she was probably very well hidden. She couldn't hear any noise at all outside of her cell; she didn't know if this was due to very good soundproofing or if she'd been taken somewhere outside of the city.

"I see you've adjusted well to your new life Detective" the Voice suddenly rasped out.

"Let me out of here. You've no right to do this to me" Kate replied.

"I have every right. I am Nikki and once he realizes that, you'll be free to go. Now, I need you to write another letter. This time you better make sure he knows you're never coming back and that he needs to forget about you. I'll give you until the morning. It better do the job this time Detective, or your father is going to have a much shorter lifespan than you might want."

"No! I'll do it. What time is it now? I have no idea when the morning will be here. Just give me a clock, please?"

"It's 5pm now. And you don't really need a clock. I'll be back in the morning for the letter. Just make sure this time it does the job."

The Voice fell silent again. Kate couldn't help but think that this time the Voice had seriously miscalculated. By giving her hours to write the note she had the opportunity to do something more definitive in terms of communicating her situation with Castle. The question was: how?

* * *

The long day finally ground to an end. Martha and Lanie had dinner prepared, Jim had unpacked in the spare room and Castle had only spent a few hours curled in his bed missing Kate. He decided to leave her underwear under the pillow for the evening. Probably wouldn't have any chance to cradle them to his face with the expected guests. He knew they were all very supportive, but if he suddenly whipped out some Beckett undies during a stressful discussion he might find himself in a straight jacket sooner rather than later. The cherry shampoo he'd used earlier was going to have to be enough.

They set the table after getting texts that the boys were on their way. When the expected knock on the door arrived, the inhabitants of the loft were a bit shocked to open the door and find not only the boys but also Captain Gates. After a slightly awkward greeting, Martha brought them into the dining room to join the rest of the group. If Captain Gates was surprised to see how exhausted Castle appeared, she wisely chose to keep it to herself.

"Mr. Castle, sorry to invite myself over. I wanted to be here to assure you personally that we are doing everything in the power of the NYPD to find Kate Beckett."

"Sir, I have no doubt that you are. Thank you for coming to update us personally."

"Mr. Castle, I am here to ask a favor of you as well. Let's eat first and we'll get into the details after dinner."

Castle had no interest in eating, but knew he had to play the good host. He knew he should try to keep his strength up as well. He was anxious to hear about the course of the investigation, so dinner lasted far longer than he wanted. Eventually even that torture came to an end and they'd all gathered in the living room once again. Alexis had called as they were settling in; Martha had her on her tablet, participating even so far away. It gave Castle some needed strength to think about how many people were helping to bring Kate home.

"Detective Ryan, could you begin please" Captain Gates was authoritative even outside the precinct.

"Oh, urm, sure thing sir. So, Espo, I mean Detective Esposito, and I spent the day getting warrants for things like cameras and her phone. The phone trace came first. The text she sent you pinged off a cell tower in the Bronx on Wednesday morning. Nowhere near the airports, so we don't think she ever even made it to the airport. That helped as we didn't need to comb through any airport footage. The phone has been off since that morning without further calls. Her credit cards have not been touched. No odd withdrawals from the bank to show she was getting ready to run."

Javi spoke next. "We were able to get images of the cab she got in from the security footage from your building. The medallion was faked; there is no such cab operating in the five boroughs. The driver was vaguely seen; there is no way to tell if it was a male or female. Going on the odds, probably male. He was wearing a cap and had a scarf on over the lower part of the face. There is no way to identify him from the video footage. We caught an image of the license of the cab from an ATM down the street. It was a plate that was reported stolen two weeks ago off a car parked in a garage in lower Manhattan. A garage without working video cameras; they had broken three days earlier and were repaired the day after the plate was taken."

Castle felt himself starting to shake again. They had essentially nothing. Nothing about where his Kate was except she was _probably_ still in New York. Maybe leaving the underwear in the bedroom was a bad idea. Maybe if he went and grabbed one of her shirts it wouldn't seem so weird? "What else?" he said roughly. They had to have _something_.

No one spoke for a minute, just looking at him. Javi and Kev looked defeated. Then Gates spoke "Mr. Castle, I realize you are anxious to get Kate back; we all are. But this information represents hours of painstaking work. We know she never got to the airport. The cab seems to be the only key. Now that we know where her cell phone pinged last, we can try and find the cab in video around that tower. But I have to tell you, that is a huge job and it's going to take days, even with all the extra help we've been authorized to use."

Castle was miserable. He hadn't meant to question their desire to get her back. He'd just wanted…well, a miracle. He wanted Kate back. Didn't they deserve something more from the universe after all this time, all the tragedies and near misses they'd been through?

"Now, Mr. Castle, I told you I had a favor to ask of you."

Castle looked up at Gates. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like this favor.

"I don't want you at the precinct for this investigation. You need to stay here, with your family."

The words hit Castle like a blow. Not at the precinct, helping find her? Not going to happen.

Gates could see the protest rising from him and spoke again before he had a chance to. "Mr. Castle! Rick" she softened her tone and her formality as she saw how much the thought of being marginalized for the investigation was making him. "Rick, I've read that note a hundred times since I got the copy this morning. And do you know what I finally realized?" Everyone in the room was staring at her. No one had any idea what she was alluding to. "I realized that this note is not about Kate. It's about you. If someone had kidnapped Kate for ransom or for something she had done, why would they care about what you did with your life? The note seems to think you should move on, forget about Kate. I realize that she was trying to send a message with some of the wording and by lying about where she went to college. But those are subtle hints, things only people close to her would notice. The other messages are quite overt. 'Find the real Nikki, find true love'"she paraphrased. "I wonder if that's what her abductor wanted her to write. And if that's the case, you being at the precinct is doing the opposite of what they want. You need to stay away and not make it obvious you're looking for her. I think the more you publicly ignore the advice in the letter the more danger Kate will be in."

The room was silent after Gates finished. The expression on everyone's face showed how hard they were thinking about the letter, internally debating if Gates' conclusions rang true or not. Castle wanted to ignore her, wished he could pretend to be deaf and not have heard her. Her words had struck his core; he was desperate to search for Kate, but a part of him, the logical part that was typically very quiet when it came to Katherine Beckett, was screaming at him that Gates was right. And if Gates was right, he might endanger Kate by helping the NYPD search for her. There was another part of him that argued that he wasn't in any kind of frame of mind to help search for her either. That part he could squelch easily, but there was no way he was going to ignore the danger she might be in if he couldn't control himself.

"You're right" he said, startling everyone (even Gates) by his agreement. "I don't like it, it's going to kill me to not be able to be there helping to search her out, but I can't stand the thought of endangering her further. I don't know if you're right about the letter. Why would someone take Kate to change me? Not having her has driven me to the depths of despair. It doesn't make any sense. None of this makes sense. But I can't endanger her. So I'll stay away...for now" he said, rising from his chair at the end of his speech. He then turned from the group and stalked out of the room to his office where he slammed the door closed.

Martha jumped slightly at the slammed door, but no one made any move to go after him. They all realized he needed time alone.

"I guess that's as much as I can expect from him under the circumstances" said Gates, still staring at the closed office door.

"Captain, it's the right thing to do" said Ryan. "He's in no position to help anyway. He's barely able to function here in the loft."

"Well everyone, I have to get going. Detectives Ryan and Esposito, I expect to see you in the morning?"

"Yes sir" they answered simultaneously.

"Thank you for the dinner Martha" Gates said, then took her leave.

"We need to get going too" said Esposito, after everyone had said goodbye to Alexis on skype. Her flight was early the next morning and she had to finish packing. Lanie left with the boys, promising to be back first thing in the morning to help Martha with Castle. She had volunteered to go get Alexis from the airport, which Martha was grateful for. Jim and Martha finished cleaning up the few chores left in a companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. After securing everything they both turned in and silence was once again undisturbed throughout the loft.

Castle was lying on Kate's side of the bed again, this time with her favorite t-shirt on a pillow that he was clasping. He couldn't sleep, couldn't think. All he could do as he lay in the bed was picture her face, her eyes, her hair. Remembered the way her hair curled after a shower or the way it fell so flat when she tired of the curl and took the time to straighten it. Remembered the tousled pillow hair from awakening each morning to the alluring up-dos she managed for formal events. Remembering her eyes, eyes that ranged from green to hazel, eyes that communicated her feelings for him wordlessly. They'd always been on the same wavelength for a lot of things, but their ability to understand each other just by looking at the other person had been ratcheted to new heights since they'd become lovers. It wasn't always perfectly aligned, as their recent issues showed, but his connection to her was unlike anything he'd ever experienced in his life. He'd never had anything like this with his first two marriages. Certainly not with any other lover. He had long thought his relationship with Kyra Blaine had been the high-water mark for intimacy and for a mutually satisfying relationship, maybe even for love. Once he met Kate he realized what a fool he'd been.

She was a universe ahead of anything anyone else had ever meant to him; the light of the sun compared to light of a single candle. His love for Alexis was unconditional, protective. His daughter meant the world to him. His love for Kate was uncompromising as well, but she completed him. Without her he would simply be an automaton carrying out the activities of living but never feeling true happiness again. She carried part of his soul with her and without her next to him he was unavoidably diminished. So he'd play his part, this role they were choosing for him. He'd overcome his need to help find her and pretend to move on without her. But he knew how empty everything would be until he had her back in his arms. He laid that way for hours, a fitful sleep finally claiming him in the middle of the night. Thus, when the silence of the loft was broken by the harsh whisper of an envelope being pushed under the door no one in the loft heard it. It would lay patiently waiting for notice on the floor of the foyer for several hours.

* * *

**A/N 2: People kept without natural light cues but with the ability to turn on artificial light at their whim generally settle out into a 25 hour cycle; the artificial light does have some impact on circadian rhythm. So while Kate would be off of the correct clock in general, it wouldn't be by days. However, I'm assuming she's lost time due to her lack of consciousness from the gas as well. That's why I settled on having her off by a few days total. She will think far fewer days have passed compared to reality when she finally comes back to the real world. :)**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: Loving all the reviews. They keep me going on this when I really should be doing other stuff. But I can't let you down! **

Kate lay on her bed, drifting in and out of sleep. She'd spent hours on the letter. Once she'd decided on a method of communication, it had taken several fits and starts to perfect it and then hours more of getting it just right. In the end, she wasn't sure it was going to work, but her options were very, very limited. She had no doubt that if Rick and the boys could see what she'd done that they'd figure out the message. The question was if they'd see it. Her captor had come for the letter not long after she'd finally produced a version that she was happy with. There had been multiple versions that didn't make the snuff. She'd had to rip them into tiny shreds and stash them in the bathroom, planning to flush pieces a little at a time. She couldn't very well put them in the trash for her captor to find when she emptied the cell.

Prior to the demand that she write this letter, Kate had spent much of her copious free time trying to figure out who the hell had taken her. She hadn't gotten far, but then it dawned on her that it didn't really matter in the end. What she did know was valuable information and it might just be enough for Castle and the boys to figure out where she was. She'd had to take the chance. She prayed that the fact that her captor had taken the letter and not said anything further was proof that she hadn't noticed the alterations. They were very subtle.

Now she was back in the bed, trying to sleep after the arduous task of producing the letter. Her favorite thing to do when she wasn't eating or reading or exercising (that was really the extent of her activities) was to have imaginary conversations with Castle in her head. They discussed all kinds of things in her head. Their relationship, their engagement, where they wanted to marry, if they wanted kids. She tried to make Fastle (Fake Castle) answer questions as much like the original as possible, but since she didn't really know his opinion on many of these matters it was difficult to do. What Fastle did provide was the opportunity for her to practice having these conversations. She was the reserved one, the one who withdrew from the big talks. She knew Rick hesitated on his end only because he thought it would push her away. She was determined once she returned from this Land of the Lost that she would be a more open partner in their relationship. In the meantime she had Fastle to argue with, talk about the book she was reading (she'd found some old classics and one book by Castle in the nightstand, all well used paperbacks), to motivate her to get out of bed and keep her ass in shape. She felt a bit like Tom Hanks talking to Wilson, though she hadn't resorted to using any inanimate objects as conversational partners…yet. Castle's presence in her life was so complete; she just had to close her eyes to see him in front of her. And though all her conversations were with Fastle, it did keep her from losing herself into the despair the situation called for. She had to get back to him and having a breakdown was not going to lead to anything productive.

* * *

Jim was up before everyone in the loft. Not that this was a big accomplishment. Castle and Martha had never been known as early risers and now with the stress of Kate missing, Castle was even less likely to be up early. Jim had always been an early riser, just as Kate was. She would often join him out on the dock at the lake to watch the sunrise together while Jo slept in. Those memories were from before of course. Once Jo was lost, Jim had also lost any claim to his daughter spending early morning free time with him. They were uncomfortable around each other, even when he'd regained his sobriety. He had hurt her tremendously when he couldn't be there for her and he hadn't been sure that earlier, happier version of Kate was ever going to reappear.

Not sure that is until he started hearing about this Castle fellow. Kate had always played it close to the vest with her relationships with men. At first she'd seemed very annoyed with the writer, but soon Jim started noticing that while she verbalized her annoyance of the man, her eyes sparkled with a light that hadn't been there since her 19th year and she was smiling and laughing more, even with her father. Jim wasn't aware of all the issues that went on with Kate and Rick, but once they finally became a couple it was obvious that they were crazy for each other. Kate was a better person with Rick in her life, there was no question.

When she had come to him about the job with the AG, he'd been surprised that she was considering it. He didn't think she'd really thought about all the ramifications of such a job. Whatever his reservations, he'd tried to be a sounding board for her. He hadn't been good for much during those initial years without Jo, but he was determined to be there for his only child no matter what she decided.

Lost in thoughts of his missing daughter, he'd wandered downstairs to the kitchen thinking about getting some coffee made in the fancy machine that Castle owned. Jim was very grateful to Martha and Rick opening their home to him. He knew Katie had essentially moved into the loft and his observant eyes had picked out several items that must have belonged to his daughter. He knew she was very comfortable here in this space; considered it her home at this point. Jim felt a little closer to her just being in the place where she spent so much of her life now. A life that was full of the Castle family, a life he was now trying to share despite Kate not being here. It helped ease the burden of pain he carried; he had others to share it with and he had to help Martha keep Castle together.

Looking at the microwave clock, he saw it was almost 8am. Lanie would be here with Alexis within thirty minutes if all had gone well at the airport. He decided he'd start some breakfast for everyone. He'd never been much of a cook before Jo had died, and he still wasn't great at many things but breakfast in this incredibly well-stocked kitchen he could handle.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, there were delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Jim had turned on the morning news in the living room; he was a bit of a news junkie and it kept him company while he worked alone on breakfast. To his surprise, he heard Martha making her way down the stairs. He'd thought it was too early for her to be up.

"Jim, darling, you don't have to go to all this trouble"

"It's no trouble Martha. I wanted to have a good breakfast for everyone once Lanie and Alexis get here."

"Yes, well Alexis texted me about an hour ago. She got here fine and was going through customs."

"Oh, good. Well I hope they're on time; this is almost ready and there's way too much for the two of us."

As his words trailed off, they both turned at a noise coming from Castle's office. It turned out to be Castle himself, in a robe, boxers and t-shirt. His hair was sticking up every which way and he was rubbing sleep out of his eye with his right hand.

"Morning" he spoke, with a bit of a croak. "What's that wonderful smell? It can't be mother's cooking, or else I really have lost my mind."

"Ha ha darling. Jim is getting breakfast ready for when Lanie and Alexis arrive." Secretly she was thrilled to hear him making jokes at her expense. He had to be feeling a bit better if he could try and laugh at things involving his mother.

Jim poured Castle a mug of the coffee he'd managed to produce out of the machine. Rick grabbed it eagerly, clearly savoring the taste of the coffee, lost in a private moment that probably involved Jim's daughter. He decided to not think any further on that angle and turned back to minding the bacon sizzling on the griddle.

As Castle felt the coffee hitting his tired, worn out body and slowly reinvigorating his entire being, he heard the sound of two women laughing from the outer hallway, outside the loft. He set his coffee down knowing who it would be and started towards the door to greet his daughter back from Costa Rica. Even with all that had happened, he couldn't wait to see her.

As he crossed the floor and approached the foyer he suddenly stopped in his tracks. His senses seemed to splinter away from him at this point. The part of him that could still hear things knew the sound of Alexis' key being inserted into the lock as she and Lanie prepared to enter the apartment. It also heard Martha asking him if everything was alright; she hadn't heard the subtle sounds signaling someone was about to come in. He was so attuned to it after listening for Kate coming home over the last year.

His sense of sight was completely arrested by an envelope lying on the floor of his foyer. It had been just last week that she'd disappeared and he'd found the first envelope lying in this exact spot. His sense of smell and taste were still taken up with the odors coming from the kitchen. However, as his sympathetic nervous system kicked in and his body was filled with adrenaline released by the sight of this envelope (knowing what this envelope might contain), his olfactory senses picked up an unmistakable scent released from his own body: fear.

He stood frozen, paralyzed; in the few seconds it took for Alexis to unlock the door a lifetime seemed to pass by him. He did not want to pick up this envelope. He was dying to pick up this envelope. He was terrified of what he might find in it. He was desperate to find what it said, how it might lead to Kate. Forgotten in the rush of emotions was the excitement of seeing his daughter.

Martha had moved to his side by now and had also caught sight of the object of his attention. It was a sight that arrested her as well, knowing what it might represent. And it was a sight that was suddenly lost as the door swung open and revealed Alexis rushing into the house, Lanie just behind. They both trod unwittingly over the envelope.

Alexis saw her father and Grams standing just beyond the foyer, facing her. She dropped her suitcase and ran towards them, enveloping them both in a hug. She was so relieved to be home. "Dad, Grams! I'm so happy to be back home with you!" As she finished her greeting she found she was the only one involved in the hug. Both her father and Grams seemed a bit shocked, neither really responding to her. As her face started to fall, confused as to why they weren't acting happy to have her back, she noticed they were both staring in the foyer where Lanie was taking off her coat. "Dad? Grams? What's wrong?" Lanie looked fine to her.

Lanie turned back from hanging up her coat and saw all three Castle/Rogers staring towards her. She was a bit startled; Alexis should have been the object of all their attention, but they seemed to be staring at her instead. Both Martha and Castle had strange looks on their faces; fear, excitement and something even rawer from Castle. Need? Lust? She wasn't sure what it was, but why was he looking at her? Why weren't they all fussing over Alexis?

"Richard Castle, you'd better not be checking out the girls" she tried to inject some humor into an increasingly uncomfortable situation. Did she have a huge stain on her shirt that Alexis had been too polite to mention? Trying to check her outfit out she looked down and suddenly saw what Castle and Martha had been shaken by. There was another envelope.

Alexis finally figured it all out when Lanie started staring at the ground too. Another envelope, probably just like he had found earlier. No wonder he was lost in his own head. This letter was probably going to change all their lives once again. Whatever it contained, it was either going to help them find Kate and get her father back to himself or it was going to destroy him. She was so glad to be there before he read it; she would do anything to help him. But she couldn't help but curse a bit under her breath at the lousy timing as it completely derailed her homecoming.

Lanie snapped back to reality first. Reaching back into her jacket pockets now hanging beside her, she fished out some gloves. She was like a boy scout, always prepared. Donning them, she bent down and picked up the envelope. It was addressed to R.C., just like the first. She moved to the dining room, everyone following her as if in slow motion. The envelope was very light. No jewelry being returned tonight.

"Castle, I'm going to open this. I've got gloves on and you don't have any."

Castle nodded dumbly. He still couldn't believe this was happening again. He watched as Lanie slid a knife through the edge of the envelope. A single piece of paper slid out. Lanie unfolded it and started to read; tears came unbidden to her eyes and when she looked up at Castle she had a pleading look in her eye.

"It's her again Castle. Remember, she's not trying to hurt you, she's trying to help you find her."

"I know Lanie." He almost sounded normal there. He hoped no one else had noticed the tremulous voice or the shaking hands. He shoved his left hand quickly into the robe's pocket. There may or may not have been a certain silky pair of Beckett's…oh, never mind. "Read it out loud. For everyone" he ordered.

Lanie sighed and looked down again.

_Richard,_

_ I know you have figured out by now I'm not in Washington. I decided I needed a clean break from everyone. No one in my life has ever really been there for me. I've had to be the strong one, carrying the weight of the rest. I'm sick of it. I'm gone from your lives for good, so don't come looking for me. A clean break is best. I'm taking nothing from this life save the first paperback version of A Calm Before the Storm. It will serve to remind me of you and our friendship. I hope you're doing well in your life as you go out and find your true love. She's waiting out there, closer than you think, and I wish you both the greatest happiness in your lives. I'm using the lemons I've been dealt in life to help me move on to a truly wonderful new start. Goodbye Richard, you'll never see me again. Do not mourn what little we had together. Don't waste your time, true love is likely around the corner and ready for you. Embrace the opportunity._

_Always, _

_Katherine_

Even knowing that she didn't really mean the words written there, both Jim and Castle couldn't help but feel much wounded by this latest statement. There was a long pause until Alexis finally chirped "What part is the message?"

Castle didn't have the heart to tell her that this time there was no real hidden message that was obvious to him. There simply wasn't enough written to even make much of a message. His hope that this time she would have figured out a way to tell him where she was imploded into dust. She was lost to him. He couldn't breathe without her, couldn't maintain a sinus rhythm for his heart. Nothing really mattered anymore. He couldn't break down in front of Alexis though, so he somehow made some lame excuse that everyone seemed to see right through and made his way back to the cocoon of his bedroom where he could close his eyes and see her, smell her. God, he longed to touch her again. Just once was all he needed. Just once.


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. I've had another story that just had to be told taking up some of my time. Plus I had to work last weekend and it was unpleasantly busy. I'm now updating both my stories at the same time, which is a bit crazy, but hoping to get even more on this one this weekend. We're just getting to the really fun part in the next chapters!**

* * *

Alexis watched her dad stumble back to his bedroom. He was even worse than she'd feared. It had been beyond difficult to watch him deteriorate that summer after Kate's shooting, the one when she hadn't called Dad, had shut him out of her life. This was magnitudes of order beyond that summer, she could tell. He was going to need her complete support.

Turning back to the rest of the group, she saw sympathy on their faces. There was also determination. She knew they all wanted Kate back with them as much as she did. She didn't want her back just for her Dad's sake. Alexis had always admired the detective for her great success in a man's world. She was smart and sexy, commanded respect in anyone who met her. She was a great role model to a girl who'd never had a true mother to look up to. They'd been developing into friends if not something deeper until everything was turned upside down after Kate's shooting and subsequent abandonment of her father. That's when she'd found herself hating what Kate had done and had lost most of the respect she'd had for her in the process.

When Kate and her dad seemed to finally get on the same page and became a real couple, Alexis didn't know what to think. They seemed happy, but she knew that looks could be deceiving. She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Their relationship certainly seemed strong, had lasted for the past year or more. Alexis thought that she'd finally come to accept it, welcomed it. Then her dad had looked so distraught during that skype session last week when he thought Kate had left. Alexis had immediately assumed the worst of Kate. She felt very guilty about that, now knowing she hadn't disappeared on purpose. Alexis vowed to try and do as much as possible to get Kate back where she belonged; back in both of their lives. She wanted whatever family they were to be back together.

Martha had carefully made copies of the letter for everyone again, wearing some of Lanie's gloves. The original was now safely in a plastic bag, waiting to see if it would reveal any forensic secrets to them once it had been processed. Lanie had called Espo to let him and Ryan know that Castle had received another letter. She had then helped Martha email them a copy as well. The more people looking at the thing the better. They all agreed that there was another message here, but no one had any immediate ideas as to what that might be.

"It seems significant that she mentions the book" said Lanie. "She even mentions that it's the first paperback edition."

"Does Rick have that edition here?" Jim asked.

"I'll go look" volunteered Martha.

Alexis was pretty sure he would. It was his first Derrick Storm novel, one of the first really big ones in terms of sales. Alexis continued to stare at her copy of the letter, physically willing her brain to find something, anything. Martha came sailing back into the kitchen triumphantly clutching the paperback of the hour 15 minutes later.

"Found it! It was hidden behind some hardbacks, but I was so sure he had it, I just kept looking. What should we do with it now?"

No one had any idea. Martha desultorily thumbed through the book, but nothing jumped out at her. Alexis' brain was still refusing to cooperate. She felt like she was missing something obvious but didn't know if that was because she really was or because she really wanted to figure it all out.

As time moved forward without any apparent resolution to the mystery of the letter other things became necessary to engage in. It was getting closer to lunch time, so Lanie and Martha started preparing food for everyone there. Jim had grabbed a soda from the fridge and was now sitting in a living room chair with his copy of the letter lying on the table in front of him. He had his hands cradling his head as he sat lost in thought, clearly trying to hold everything together. Castle remained in his bedroom; Alexis considered checking on him but discarded the thought for now. He needed some time alone to grieve; she would wait until lunch was ready and then cajole him into eating something.

Alexis was the last one to put down the letter. She so badly wanted to know what it meant, but just couldn't see any particular message within the words. She was still tired from the long flight and all the emotional heaviness that the events of the last few days had brought. She was sitting on a stool by the kitchen counter with her head down in her arms that rested on the cool granite countertop. The noises of Lanie and Martha preparing the meal were soothing, and she felt herself drifting off.

"Alexis, you should go upstairs and go to bed for a while" said Martha. "We'll call you down for lunch when it's time kiddo."

"I'm ok Grams. I was just resting. I'll be alright."

"You could go in your father's bedroom and lay down with him for a while."

Alexis considered this. She didn't think it was a bad suggestion and realized that her grandmother thought Alexis would bring her dad some comfort. She decided that she might go do just that and was about to hop down from her stool when her eyes were captured by the sight of Lanie slicing up a cucumber for lunch. Staring, not sure why, she let her brain run ahead of her conscious thoughts. _Knife._ _Slice. Lemons_. Lemons? Where did that come from?

"Lemons!" she shouted wildly.

Everything coalesced in a thunderclap in her brain. Suddenly she knew. She just knew. She jumped up in a flash, stool clattering against the counter with enough noise that everyone in the room, even Jim, was suddenly staring at her, wondering what on earth she was doing.

She ran to the dining room to grab the letter. It had to be the original. She only hesitated when she saw it lying encased in plastic. It hadn't been processed yet.

"Alexis, what are you doing?" Martha wasn't sure what had gotten into her granddaughter.

"Lanie, how likely do you think it is that there is forensic evidence on this letter?" Alexis chose not to answer her grandmother just yet. It had to be; nothing else made sense. She prayed she wasn't wrong, but she couldn't risk compromising other leads either.

"Not very likely; there wasn't anything useful on the first and I doubt they would be less careful the second time around. Why?" Lanie was confused too. They were looking at her like she was crazy.

"Would exposing the letter to some heat destroy evidence?" she had to know soon, was bursting to know.

"Well, I suppose if you burned it; how much heat are we talking?"

Alexis ignored the question again and ran to the foyer to find some gloves in Lanie's coat pocket. She hoped the ME didn't mind her questing through her pockets; this was far too important to worry about good manners. Finding some, she donned them and went back for the letter. Jim had risen from his chair and walked towards the kitchen a ways, though not actually entering it. All three of them could tell Alexis was very excited about something and her excitement gave rise to some hope in all of them.

Alexis marched over to the stove and lit one of the small gas burners. She took the letter from its plastic protector and carefully held it high above the burner.

"Alexis! What on earth are you doing?" Martha was very confused.

"It's a theory Grams. Kate mentioned lemons in her letter. It seemed a little out of place, but then I suddenly thought: invisible ink. You can make invisible ink out of lemons. Maybe her secret message isn't the words of the letter but the paper itself."

Understanding dawned on Jim's face. "When Katie was a kid, couldn't have been more than 10 or 11, she was fascinated by spy stories. Her grandfather taught her how to write messages like that back then; this could be it."

Alexis was trying to be very careful with the paper. She'd written messages in lemon juice when she was younger too. She and her dad had spent several weeks being silly with little secret messages to each other. She remembered it was sometimes difficult to get the paper heated just so, so you could see the writing but not to overdo it.

She gasped suddenly. She had been right. Slowly, ever so slowly, the message emerged from the background. Alexis forced herself not to actually look at it; made herself turn it carefully from side to side, end to end until she was certain that the entirety had been revealed. Kate had been so, so smart. It made Alexis marvel that she could have her wits about her, was so in control that she could do something like this. She wasn't sure she could have done the same. She slowly moved away from the stove, gas now off. And she looked up with shining eyes to the others, tears shining in her eyes.

"She sent a message. Now it's up to us."

* * *

The genius of Kate Beckett was now in front of them all. She'd written the visible message on the paper first. It was short enough that it didn't take up even half the paper. The rest of the sheet had been where she'd carefully put the invisible ink. Yet she hadn't simply written out words; likely she'd been nervous that her captor might somehow catch on. Instead, the invisible message was revealed to be a series of numbers. Alexis wasn't certain what they referred to, but she knew that they'd be able to figure this next part out now that they had found the message.

Lanie called the boys to let them know what Alexis had discovered. They were excited about the discovery, but not sure what the numbers could refer to either. There was a period of maybe 5 minutes when everyone collectively stared at the numbers before Alexis decided to copy them down on a separate paper. They consisted of pairs of numbers. There were 24 pairs. They went down in three columns. She'd hoped writing them out would lead to an epiphany, but once they were all copied she was none the wiser.

"I'm going to get Richard. She was writing primarily to him and I'll bet he'll know what this code means" said Martha as she started walking to his bedroom door. Alexis decided to go with her, to lend her support to her dad in whatever way she could.

He was laying in the dark on his bed. Their bed. Alexis knew he was lying on Kate's side. He had one of her shirts clutched to his chest. His eyes were closed, but she could tell he'd been crying. Her heart ached for him, but she knew that the message alone would lift him up. Kate was trying so hard to help them find her. Martha motioned for Alexis to approach him. They needed him awake.

She shook his shoulders gently. "Dad. Dad, wake up."

He slowly opened his puffy eyes, saw his mother and daughter standing there.

"I'm not hungry Alexis" he said flatly. "Please, just leave me alone for a while."

"No Dad, you don't understand. We found the message. Kate left a message. But we need your help to figure it all out."

As the meaning of her words sank in, she could see the sudden rise of hope in his eyes. He shoved the covers off and stood quickly, eager to see what they had found. He let them lead him back out into the kitchen where Lanie and Jim had remained, still looking at the numbers.

As soon as he saw the message, he knew. Knew what that incredible woman had done. God, his heart ached when he thought of how brave and smart she was.

"Richard, do you know what it means?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Remember that case when Beckett's apartment blew up?"

Seeing nods from everyone, he continued. "Dunn, the guy who was obsessed with Nikki Heat, sent a message using numbers like these. The first number refers to a page, the second to the word on the page. In that case it was for the book that had been released. But Kate gave us the book in the note. She must have access to that paperback wherever she is and she used it to encode the message. No one else, outside of the FBI that worked that case with us, would understand."

Alexis had grabbed the paperback as soon as he explained the number system and had already started transcribing. They only had the one copy of the book and she'd nominated herself as the one to decipher it. It was a very slow going, but after nearly an hour she had the whole thing done. They'd all been watching her, making small talk in the background as she worked. She had written them down one word at a time.

Taken

Your

Safe

By

True

Please

Unknown

Love

Find

Woman

I

Me

She

Was

I

thinks

In

Love

She

Way

You

is

Am

Always

At first she was confused, then realized the message was meant to be read down each column, not across as she had done. She quickly reordered the words and then read aloud to the rest: "_Taken by unknown woman she thinks she is your true love I was in way am safe please find me I love you always_"

Richard felt a huge burden lifted from his shoulders. Here was direct, intangible proof that she was alive. No one else knew that code, would have used those words. He made a silent vow he would do anything it took to get her back. Whoever this woman was, she clearly had underestimated Kate Beckett. He would make sure that she underestimated him too.


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Ok, with this chapter we've finally made it through the setup, which took way longer than I ever anticipated. Also, I'm quite proud to be updating both my stories on the same day. Pretty sure I'm not going to be able to maintain that pace though. My other story is getting huge numbers of reviews and follows compared to this one, so please take time to write something (anything) down if you want me to keep going strong on this story. I think this one is more fun than the other, but the other is getting all the attention for some reason.**

* * *

The evening saw the same group of people back in the loft as the night before. Once the message had been deciphered, Gates and the boys had been notified. They had come once all work at the precinct was finished for the day. Gates thought it was important to not look too eager as it seemed likely that they were all being observed in some way by the person who had taken Kate. Spooking her now would not help anything.

Castle had spoken privately to Esposito earlier as well. Neither he, Ryan or Castle felt this fit at all with Bracken. They hadn't really expected to find him behind it for reasons they'd discussed earlier, but now felt quite certain he was not to blame. Which was a relief in some ways given his seeming limitless access to funds and henchmen. But also disappointing. They knew what Bracken's motives were and what he wanted. This person who'd taken Kate was a complete mystery.

Castle was feeling much better about everything for the first time since this nightmare had started. He finally had a direction to go on, a way to contribute. He knew Kate was out there, needed his help to get back to him. He would do anything to accomplish that goal.

They ate dinner quickly, needing the time to decompress after the long day. Then Gates updated them on the investigation as they once again gathered in the living room.

"Mr. Castle, before we talk about the letter, you should know we haven't made much headway on the video footage. There are thousands of hours of tape to go through and even with extra help I don't see this as a viable way to move the investigation forward." This wasn't a surprise to anyone. Without knowing where she'd gone the video footage was essentially useless.

"Other than that, we have zero leads. There is literally nothing else to follow up on as we have no idea who took her, where they took her or why they took her."

Espo and Ryan were nodding to her words. They'd chased every avenue, even the most improbable lead and found nothing.

"However, this letter opens new possibilities" Gates said. "The message seems to imply that a woman took Beckett because this woman thinks she is in love with you Mr. Castle. Unlikely as it seems to me, you apparently have an admirer and she has removed Beckett from your life to pursue you."

"Castle, can you think of any woman who might have gotten the wrong impression from you?" Ryan asked.

Javi quickly followed with "Yeah Castle, you used to be a dog bro. What gives?"

"Wha…NO! I've only had eyes for Kate for years, you guys all know that."

"Be that as it may bro, some chica seems to think she can turn your head in her direction" said Espo.

"I can't imagine anyone thinking I'd ever forget about Kate Beckett. It's impossible."

"Dad, to you it's obvious. But do you think it's obvious to everyone else?" Alexis asked slowly.

"What do you mean pumpkin? How can it not be?"

"Dad, you can be….very friendly. Not inappropriately, but you are outgoing and generous. I think that sometimes when you meet people it's easy for them to think of you as more than a stranger very quickly."

Castle was confused and looked it. "I don't know what to say. I don't think I'm too friendly."

"Well, for example, what about Kelley?" Alexis persisted. She knew her dad had no idea that his easy going nature and friendly smile meant a lot to some of the fairer sex even though he had no intention of them reading anything into it. His happiness with Kate had really shown through in his actions and his demeanor; he was even more ebullient than normal.

"Who is Kelley?" Lanie spoke for everyone in the room.

"Alexis, Kelley is nothing to me. You know that."

"I know that dad, but are you sure she knows that? Besides, Kelley is just one example of what I mean."

"WHO is Kelley?" Lanie repeated a bit louder with a pointed look at Castle.

Looking a bit irritated, Castle finally explained when it was clear Alexis wasn't planning to.

"Kelley is a barista at my favorite coffee shop. She works most mornings when I stop in to get Kate and I coffee. She's a nice girl." The last comment was said a bit desperately, wanting them to understand he didn't really think too much of Kelley.

"Yes, she's a barista who just happens to work every morning you normally go in and who just happens to know your order by heart so that as soon as she sees you she makes it, even if there is a line of others waiting to order." Alexis was not letting go easily. "And when she writes 'Rick' on the cup she puts a little heart over the 'i'."

"She's just a kid, and I tip well so she's really nice to me."

"Dad, I've only been in there a few times with you but I can tell you if you gave her even the slightest indication you were interested she'd hop the counter and probably maul you."

Castle just stood staring at his daughter. He really had no idea what she was talking about and that was clear on his face. That alone kept Jim, Ryan and Espo in check. If any of them had thought Castle had been flirting with other women they would have made sure he understood that was not ok with them.

"Ok, what about Emily?" Alexis was really bringing out the ammo now.

"What about Emily?"

"Who is Emily?" Lanie was getting upset. She'd no idea Kate had to deal with all these women throwing themselves at Castle.

"Emily is one of Paula's assistants. Whenever she's around dad she is trying to stick her cleavage in his face and everything is '_yes Mr. Castle, right away Mr. Castle_'. The fawning over him is cringe worthy, completely embarrassing."

"Alexis, I truly don't know what you're talking about. I hardly see Emily; I usually deal with Paula alone. I couldn't even tell you if Emily is 20 or 50 years old, that's how little attention I've paid her."

"I _know_ that Dad. Kate knows it too, which is why she's never been concerned about it. But that doesn't mean that these women know that. My point is that maybe there is someone in your life, someone you see on a regular basis who has misinterpreted your friendliness. And by taking Kate away this person now thinks you'll turn to her. We just have to figure out who it is."

Castle was speechless. A state of being that didn't happen often. His daughter's words didn't make any sense to him, but then he saw Gates slowly nodding her head.

"I think Alexis has made some very interesting points. And let's be honest Mr. Castle, I'm not sure we really have anything else to go on. Yes, I think this has got to be our new direction of investigation."

"You mean you're going to investigate every woman I happen to run into on a regular basis? How exactly are we going to go about this?"

"You mean how are _you_ going to go about this Mr. Castle. You're going to have to go out there and flush her out. There is no other way that I see to do this."

For the second time in a few minutes Castle was speechless. He was going to do _what_? Exactly _how_?

Gates moved on, taking his silence as acceptance of the plan.

"We're going to need someone unobtrusive with him to observe the reaction of the women around him. Alexis and Martha would seem like good choices as neither of you are a threat in terms of a romantic partner and because you're expected to be with him. We can't have him with you all the time though, so we could incorporate Lanie or Jim into the plan as fellow customers if you're in a café or coffee house. I don't want you interacting with him, but observing closely. If Jenny is up for it, we could use her too Detective Ryan."

Ryan nodded dumbly. He knew Jenny would jump to help; she was on summer break and had been heartbroken about Kate's disappearance.

"I don't want to use any cops as they are too obvious at times plus we don't really know who we can trust in all this. For all we know this woman could be a grunt at the twelfth, although I can hardly believe that." She glared at Castle as though he had some magical power over innocent women cops. He knew his only power was limited to one Kate Beckett, but Gates seemed to think he was the Pied Piper of the twelfth precinct.

"I really have no idea who this is….you have to believe if I had an inkling, any thought about who it was I would tell you. All I want is for Kate to be back here with me."

Gates softened her glare a bit. "Well, then you'd better put on the best acting job you've ever done Mr. Castle. You're going to have to look the part, not like you've dropped your ice-cream on the sidewalk and your puppy ran off. If you want to find Kate Beckett you're going to have to act like she means nothing to you and you're on the prowl for some romance. Do you think you can do it?"

"Do it, why he's the son of Martha Rodgers. Of course he can pull it off." Martha answered before he had a chance to.

"Good, because I really think this is the only way we're going to find her" said Gates.

Castle heard the conviction in her voice and saw the others surrounding him echoing her nods. He was willing to do whatever it took to find Kate, but acting like everything was fine, like he wanted a new woman in his life was going to be torture.

* * *

By the time the evening ended, they had a plan together. They figured whoever had taken Kate was watching him in some capacity. They knew this person also knew that he and Kate had been engaged; the return of the ring made that obvious. However, in some twisted manner, the captor seemed to think that she was his actual true love. With delusional thinking like that, Gates and the boys thought it possible that she wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly appeared to be looking to replace Kate. To make it marginally more believable, they decided to have Rick do a press conference the next day. They'd debated for a while about whether to let Paula know the truth. Rick knew it couldn't be her; they'd worked together too long for her to have any unrequited feelings for him. No, she only cared about sales. However, the people that worked for her were an unknown. In the end, no one was sure she'd be able to keep the secret so they'd come up with a (barely) plausible cover story.

Rick called Paula and had her arrange a quick interview with the press the next day. After she recovered from the shock of his _asking _to do press, he'd told her that he and Beckett had broken up last week (that part was _sort_ of true after all). She'd been told Kate had left New York for another job and that Rick wasn't too broken up about the whole thing. He was ready to move on with his life and the interview was intended to get him back out in the spotlight. Since Kate had been so private, Paula really hadn't known her well at all. She bought the story without a qualm, which was a huge relief to everyone in the loft. If Paula, who knew Rick fairly well, could be fooled, surely the rest of New York would follow.

Martha had started working with Rick on projecting an air of happiness, of eagerness to meet new people. In other words, the opposite of what he was actually feeling. He'd been a terrible actor as a child when he'd been roped into various productions against his will by his mother and her associates. However, he was highly motivated to succeed this time, so he threw himself into learning what she taught him.

The rest of the group planned out how they would observe Rick and his interactions with other women. They tried to come up with a reasonable schedule for him to follow, one that would take him to all his usual places. They would report on any unusual interactions to Ryan and Espo who could look into the background of the suspicious woman. Or women. Alexis was convinced that there would be all kinds of women throwing themselves at her dad's feet once they knew he was available and seemed interested. It was difficult for the others to imagine; they'd only known Castle in the context of his relationship to Kate for the most part. Sure, they'd read about his exploits when he was known as a playboy, but they'd never actually _seen_ it. Alexis had grown up with it and had a much better idea of what kind of female tsunami was about to hit. She kept the knowledge to herself; she'd tried to warn them but they clearly didn't believe her. Even Castle seemed to doubt it. He'd given himself to Kate so completely he didn't think anyone else out there would believe he was interested in them even with Martha's acting lessons.

* * *

That night lying on her side of the bed once again, Rick finally felt like he was moving closer to finding her. His mind whirled with all the things they'd talked about this evening. It was going to be a huge job for everyone, but the key to the whole investigation would be him. If he couldn't overcome his grief over Kate's disappearance he'd probably scare off whoever had taken her. And that could very well mean Kate's death. No, he had to pull this off. She was counting on him. He gathered her scent in his nose to keep him strong. Touched her things, listened to her music (she had always loved the blues). As Joe Bonamassa's live album from the Vienna Opera house played, he found himself really moved by the song _Driving Towards The Daylight_. He felt like maybe tomorrow they'd all start that drive together. Towards the daylight that Kate brought to his life.

* * *

**A/N: I love the blues. I actually love lots of music, but the blues is definitely a favorite to listen to. On the show, it has been mentioned that Kate loves John Coltrane, so I don't think it's a leap to think she'd love other blues artists. Joe Bonamassa's "An Acoustic Evening (Live at the Vienna Opera House)" is a great album and well worth a listen to, especially "Driving Towards the Daylight"**

**A/N 2: And let the fun begin….**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: This will likely be the last update for a few weeks as I have to prepare for my trip. My mother will be living in my house for a month. Yes, that's right. A month. Without me here. Totally free to snoop. Alone. Unsupervised. God help me. To say that I need to get cleaning is an under-understatement.**

**How many more days until Monday? Less than a week. Can't help but watch the sneak peak several times a day. LOVE it.**

* * *

Morning came in the usual fashion. Castle was up early, having slept the best he'd been able to since the whole nightmare had started. Today was the first step to finding Kate and he'd been able to relax his brain last night thinking of just that. He practiced some of the faces his mother had taught him in the mirror, making sure his "happy" face looked somewhat realistic and not more like his "constipated" or "I just stepped in something" faces.

He dressed carefully. That is he physically placed the clothing on his body carefully. None of the women currently in his life, namely his mother, Alexis or Lanie, had trusted him to actually pick out his own clothes for the interview. Alexis had laid out their selections the night before. He felt like a preschooler again, but he didn't argue with their choices either.

Well, that is at least their picks that were externally viewable. His daughter had had the temerity to lay out a pair of his boxers as well as the outer clothes. They were silky and expensive and did go well with the look he was trying to project. However, since no one would be seeing them, they were not what he wanted to wear. Instead, he grabbed his favorite Green Lantern boxers. They were well loved, which meant they were a bit threadbare in places and there was a hole in the ass that may or may not allowed in a breeze if he were wearing them alone. He called it swamp-ass prevention. Kate called it disturbing. Yet, they were his lucky pair of boxers and he was taking no chances with the state of the universe today. He needed all the luck on his side that he could get.

His dress shirt was a deep blue silk with slightly lighter threads running through the weft; it shimmered in the light as he moved. Alexis told him it brought out his eyes. When she'd picked it he'd been silent, a lump in his throat; it was one of Kate's favorites for him to wear. He continually reminded himself he was doing this for her, which made everything easier. Plus he'd added her tiny silk panties to a pocket. No one would know but him.

The suit itself was nearly black, with pinstriping of a charcoal that made it so subtle you weren't sure it was really there unless you examined it closely. It fit him perfectly. The tie was the same dark charcoal as the pinstriping. It was a great combination that they'd picked out and definitely gave him confidence for what was to come. He knew he looked good. The reporter was bringing a photographer and Rick was determined to take advantage of the free publicity to try and flush out the witch who'd taken the love of his life.

He'd already eaten breakfast with the ladies of the loft. His mother had been certain he might get some food on his nice clothing and had insisted he shower and dress after they ate. He'd bitten his tongue to keep from retorting that he hadn't soiled his shirt with food since he'd been twelve. Which was a mistake, biting his tongue that is, as he'd actually drawn blood (not surprising with as anxious as he was about finding Kate after all). To assuage the injured tongue, he'd taken a huge gulp of his cold drink. Which was orange juice. Which has citric acid. Which does not feel good on a freshly bitten tongue. Which is why he choked and spit out some of the drink. Which landed on his white t-shirt that he'd slept in. And stained the damned thing while his mother, Alexis and Lanie stared at him in concern, followed quickly by hysterical laughter and quips about his learning to drink from a cup recently. Such comediennes they were.

* * *

Two hours later he had finished posing for stills and was settled in the living room, projecting a calm, friendly and open countenance to the reporter. Paula was in another chair, having arrived just before the news team. Martha and Alexis were sitting on stools in the kitchen, far enough away to not be thought of as participating but still able to hear everything. Lanie had returned to work that morning, figuring they wouldn't need her that day and wanting to save days off for the coming campaign. Jim had gone back to his apartment to get some things and check on the mail. He couldn't be present for any of this for obvious reasons.

"So, Mr. Castle, I'm just going to run through some questions with you. If you don't want to answer anything let me know."

"Call me Rick." The reporter, Clarissa or Marissa, he couldn't remember, hadn't really spoken to him until now. Paula had cornered her initially for ground rules while Rick posed for the photographer. He couldn't remember her name, but hid it by giving her a big grin that he hoped didn't look like a rictus of pain. She visibly responded, moving as close to his chair as her perch on the loveseat allowed and dropping her chest so that if he'd wanted a better view of her fake boobs he'd have it. They were not very interesting. Kate's boobs on the other hand were fascinating to him. Not large but not small either. They looked really great wet in the shower or in a bikini that had been wet. Let's face it, any kind of water near them made them look good. Or any air near them. Naked. Or behind a lacy panel of a bra. They were…

"Rick!" Paula sounded pissed but was trying to hide it.

"Sorry, I was distracted" he said as he pretended to ogle ClaMarissa's chest. She simpered and repeated her question.

"Last we knew of the great Rick Castle he seemed to have disappeared from the social scene. Rumor had it you were dating a certain muse…"

He'd practiced this question with Martha the night before for half an hour; they'd known it would be one of the first things asked.

"Yes, Kate Beckett and I did date for a while. Almost a year." They'd decided to be truthful about many things, not knowing how long they'd been watched. "That's a long time by many standards, especially if you're a best selling author like myself." He gave her a wink despite the nausea he was fighting down concurrently. "We were both losing interest at the end though; we parted amicably. She's actually left New York to pursue another job opportunity and we both felt it was time to move on." He'd managed to say it all without tearing up. Last night it had taken three tries.

"So, does this mean Richard Castle is back out there on the dating scene?"

"It most certainly does. I realized that while Detective Beckett was the initial inspiration for the character of Nikki Heat, she was not the embodiment of the Nikki that evolved through the books. I think I've created the perfect woman for me in the pages I've written and now I'm determined to find her out there." This had been Gates idea, to help prod the crazy bitch who'd taken Kate. He hoped it wasn't too obvious.

"Well, I'm sure all our faithful readers out there would love to know exactly the kind of woman you're looking for Rick."

"My perfect woman is someone who is open and honest with me. She'll tell me how she feels and not wait for me to figure it out." Rick had come up with this line all on his own. He wanted whoever had taken Kate to be encouraged to pursue him openly and approach him directly; he figured that would help find her the most rapidly. However, when he'd trotted the line out he couldn't help but notice that Martha and Alexis had both jerked as if they'd touched a live wire. He couldn't think of anything that he'd said that would cause such a reaction, so continued instead.

"I want someone who's confident in her own skin and who likes romance but also is able to enjoy the simple things in life. Someone not threatened by my daughter and mother; they are both very important to me and my love would need to have a good relationship with them for me to be truly happy." He figured the last of that would protect his mother and daughter for the time being. He couldn't handle it if something happened to one of them while he was trying to figure out who'd taken Kate.

"Finally, I want someone who loves me, who I can love back and we can just dive into this life together." He couldn't help but slip that bit of Kate into the proceedings. There was no way anyone else knew about _that_ conversation, since it had taken place in an isolation tent while they were being examined for radiation poisoning; they'd been completely and utterly alone until the bad timing of a technician interrupted what Castle had been about to say. His opportunity lost, he'd let the moment slip away and damn if it didn't take them several more years before they'd finally dove in. Sometimes he regretted the lost time; he knew Kate did too, but all the trials they'd been through had shaped the people they were now. He didn't know if they would have survived all that was to come without the experiences that had brought them there. Just like now, with having to deal with her kidnapping and everything. It would hopefully make their bond even stronger; without him they wouldn't have figured out the clues that she'd left and_ he_ knew that _she_ knew that. She'd written them just for him. Once they found her, he was taking her away with him somewhere where they could be alone, completely private. He'd show her exactly what she meant to him and…

"RICK!"

Oops. He quickly ogled ClaMarissas chest; the move worked again.

"I was just saying that I think you'll be finding a lot of women who are willing to answer your invitation Rick. After all you have been a regular Most Eligible Bachelor for years and what woman wouldn't love to bag that trophy?"

He hadn't been an eligible bachelor last year. He'd been with Kate and with their relationship public he hadn't been in the running. Wait a minute, did she just call him a trophy? Rick looked more closely at the reporter. She was looking at him like a piece of meat. Yikes, maybe he'd come on too strong. Though if it got him Kate back soon it would be worth it.

"Do you have any special things you like to do on a date Rick?" ClaMarissa's voice was becoming more sultry. Rick started sweating. Surely she wouldn't attack him with his mother and daughter watching right behind her. His fingers twitched involuntarily, longing for a shield to hold; barring that a chair like the tiger handlers in the circus used. Oh god, he'd just thought of tigers. Handcuffed. Kate. Her boots that he'd had to pull off. Handcuffed. Kate's ass in front of him as they tried to move the freezer. Her climbing up him. Handcuffed.

"Um, well." He licked his lips involuntarily, trying to keep his mind on convincing her he was listening to her. Which was a bad move in retrospect as she seemed to think it was a come-on; her boobs nearly achieved lift off from her shirt when she arched her back to thrust them at him. Why were Alexis and Martha glaring at him? Couldn't they see he was in danger, about to be devoured by this oversexed bimbo?

"Um, I suppose initially the traditional types of things. Romantic dinner, maybe some dancing. I'm not too wild typically. At least on the first date." He put some leer into that last statement, trying to make sure she was still hooked. He needn't have bothered. She was practically panting.

"So, do you have any particular dates lined up yet?" She clearly wanted to be the first.

"No, I'm open to anyone at this point. Really ready to just meet the right woman. Are you feeling ok? It looks like you might have a fever. Does anyone else think it's too warm in here?"

Paula shook her head, but it gave him a chance to stand up and go get a glass of ice water for the reporter. When he brought it back, her fingers brushed him far longer than was necessary.

"Thank you Rick. Now, let's say you meet that someone special. Are you going to base a new character on her too? Maybe you need a woman reporter to match wits with Jameson Rook?" She was actually batting her eyelashes at him. Batting. Her. Eyelashes. It looked ridiculous.

"I guess we'll have to see, won't we." He tried to make it light. He wanted to scream that he'd never write about anyone buy Kate again, but that wouldn't go over well with the current audience. Not to mention Lanie's ability to kill him slowly and get away with it if he screwed this up.

"Well, I guess that's all the questions I have Rick. Thanks for the interview; the paper tomorrow will carry the story and pictures." Thank God she was finally leaving. He continued the act of chivalry and escorted her to the door.

"No problem. Please call me if you have any further questions." She'd turned her cheek expectantly towards him, so he did as she expected and bent to kiss her. As he did so, she took an audible sniff of him, so close to her.

"Ummm, cherries. I love your smell Rick."

A spark of anger lanced through him. Cherries were for he and Kate. Sure, he was wearing her shampoo again, but that was for _him_ to remember _her_, not for others to notice. He managed to control himself with some effort and got her and the photographer out the door, though not before ClaMarissa passed him her phone number to his great surprise. Relieved they were gone, he collapsed with his back into the front door. Eyes closed, he took some deep breaths, trying to erase the nauseous feeling he had over the whole interview.

When he opened his eyes he nearly screamed. Paula's angry face was inches from his. She had somehow channeled a ninja and managed to walk up to him while he'd been composing himself; she was now very much invading his personal space.

"What. Was. That. Rick.?"

"Wha…what do you mean?"

"That little interview. You know, the one you just did with Alissa Metcalfe of the New York Ledger?" Ohh, her name was Alissa! Thank God he hadn't said the wrong one earlier. "Do you know what you've done?" She turned in frustration to Alexis and Martha who were still sitting at the kitchen. "Does he know what he's done?" In unison, very creepy unison, they shook their heads slowly.

"Richard can be surprisingly obtuse when it comes to women. We'll tell him. But it's too late now" said Martha. "We'll take it from here Paula. Thanks for everything."

"Tell me what? What are you talking about?"

Paula just shook her head. "Good luck Rick. You're going to need it." She grabbed the door handle, which was uncomfortably very near his left kidney, jerked the door open and stalked out.

He turned with mouth agape to look at Martha and Alexis again.

"I don't get it!" He walked towards them. Clearly something significant had happened and he had no clue what it was. "I did just like we practiced."

Alexis continued to glare at him, arms now crossed. "You just couldn't resist the ad-libbing, could you dad?"

"Whaat?" He was very confused. Sure, it hadn't been rote from the script, but nothing was that bad. He thought.

Alexis wouldn't answer, jaws now clenched, so he turned to his mother. She was shaking her head at him.

"Richard. That was _not_ the script. _Sooo_ not the script." Seeing he was still clueless, she continued. "Do you know what you said about the perfect woman? You were supposed to say _someone who is open and honest_." His mother was using air quotes around his words. Air. Quotes. What the hell.

"But I did say that."

"Yes, but then you added _she'll tell me how she feels and not wait for me to figure it out."_ More air quotes.

"Yes, I want the bitch that took Kate to approach me as quickly as possible."

Martha snorted and Alexis slapped her forehead with her palm.

"Richard, I know you want this over as quickly as possible. But darling, think about what you just said and imagine you're one of the half million single women in New York who would for _some reason_ like to date you. You've just invited every one of them to throw themselves at you."

It took a minute for him to replay the conversation in his head: the interview and then his mother's words. With a sinking feeling he finally understood why she and Alexis had reacted how they had and why he now was clutching the digits of Alissa/ClaMarissa. As the consequences of his words sunk in the only phrase that came to his normally nimble mind was _Oh. My. God_.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Gonna have some fun with the coming chapters, whenever they get done. Hope you stick with me and be sure to review if you like this story. My other is still way more popular. **


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: Can't believe we're up to 17 chapters. Hope there are still people interested in this story. Love to all the followers and reviewers. You guys keep me going. It might not be my most popular or even the most interesting story, but it is my first and I still love it.**

* * *

The ladies had decided Rick should take the afternoon to do some regular errands; the opportunity to see people before the article hit the next day was too good to pass up. Since Alexis wasn't supposed to be home yet, they decided to have Martha go with him, scoping out the interactions.

Castle had changed into his everyday clothes after the interview. While he was changing, Martha called Lanie and gave her the scoop on what had transpired.

"He did WHAT? What was he thinking?" Alexis could hear her former boss from 10 feet away.

"He's trying to push the issue. He thinks if he opens up the floodgates, he'll be able to find her faster. He's hurting so much; I can't really blame him Lanie."

"But this may end up backfiring on him if every single woman is chasing him."

"I know, I know. We'll just have to deal with it as it comes. In the meantime, we're planning an excursion this afternoon to test the waters before the article stirs things up."

"Need any help with surveillance? I came in today, but I can't concentrate on anything. I've got to take a break."

"Sure, the more eyes looking the better. Can you meet us at the loft in 20 minutes?"

"Yes, I'm leaving right now."

By the time Lanie arrived, Alexis had helped Martha and Castle craft a plan. It would seem like he was going about a normal day, with stops at places he went to frequently. However, he would be acting a bit more flirty with any woman who seemed flirty or interested in him. Martha was to judge just how interested they were and Lanie would be behind them, acting as a separate customer. She would find out their names (if Castle didn't know them) and feed the information to Ryan and Espo on anyone they thought was suspicious. The boys could then run a background check and see if anything popped.

* * *

The door chimed as he and his mother entered his favorite coffee shop. His first stop of nearly every day, he was quite late today but he didn't think it would matter. They knew him by sight.

"Mr. Castle, you're running pretty behind today, don't you think? Did you and Ms. Beckett have a late night or early morning?"

"No, no nothing like that." He laughed, smiled at her and put some twinkle in his eyes somehow. "The detective and I actually broke up a bit ago. I'm a single man now Jessica."

Jessica, who couldn't be older than 25, visibly straightened.

"Really, that's too bad…for her. Too good for the rest of us single ladies."

She was batting her eyes at him; not overtly aggressive, but definitely sending the 'I'm interested' signal.

"Yes, well we'll have to see about that. I'd like my usual, and oh, by the way, this is my mother, Martha. Mother, this is Jessica. She's the best barrista in town."

Martha greeted the young woman; Jessica's return greeting was quite brief, given her interest in Castle.

Castle sent Martha to get a table while he waited for their coffees. When they were finally done, Jessica clutched his hand just a little too long for it to be a mistake. She looked intently into his eyes and said "See you around Mr. Batchelor."

It wasn't until he got to the table that he discovered that instead of writing his name on his cup, she'd written out her phone number.

* * *

Lanie met them about a block down from the coffee shop.

"Well, what'd you think?" she asked.

"She seemed very interested, and she gave me her number."

"Meh, Richard. She was a little flirty, I'll grant you that. But she wasn't falling over herself. I think on a score of 4 on our scale."

Lanie nodded. She'd not observed anything too suspicious either from her view at the back of the line.

"Scale? Score? Mother, whatever are you talking about?"

"The Rickometer, of course."

"The ….What? Rickometer? What the hell is that?"

"Oh, I guess we forgot to tell you darling. We, well actually it was Alexis, came up with a scale from 1-10 to enable us to give scores to the women who seem interested in you. It will help sort things out. Lanie is writing down where you meet them and their names and the score of course."

"Rickometer? Really? That's the best you can do? I feel like a piece of meat."

Martha patted his cheek with one hand. "Get used to it kiddo. If it means we find Kate, then it's worth it."

He nodded. She was right.

* * *

Their next stop was the dry cleaners. He didn't come in often, but all the customer reps were women. And not a single one seemed interested in him. Castle wasn't surprised. Even at the height of his 'playboy' days (which were mostly fiction engineered by Paula and Gina) he hadn't found that most women were falling over themselves waiting for a chance to meet him. Which was why he still wasn't sure he'd done anything wrong with the interview. They would find out tomorrow he supposed.

After the cleaners, he took Martha to a cafe that he liked a lot. Kate wasn't able to come to it much, as it was far from the precinct and she was usually working. Since they'd been involved, he hadn't been to the cafe as often as before, but his favorite waitress was still working and they all remembered him. He was a generous tipper. Lanie had been seated fairly close to them, so she was able to watch all the interactions he had. Nothing was too concerning and after they'd finished lunch and she and Martha were able to compare notes, they agreed that the waitress had only earned a 1 or 2.

After lunch, they went to one of his favorite bookstores. There were several clerks there and one regular customer that kept giving him glances. Of the three, only the customer actually approached him, under the guise of 'knowing him from somewhere' and all the while having a pen and paper ready for him to sign. She seemed perfectly happy with just an autograph and did not pursue any further conversation with him. Outside the store, Lanie and Martha rated her 2. So far, it seemed like they were striking out.

* * *

Next, they stopped by the precinct. Lanie went in first, on the pretext of coming to see Espo and Ryan. When Martha and Rick entered, one of the first people they encountered was Officer Carner.

"Mr. Castle! Nice to see you. You've not been in for a while!"

"Oh, yes. Well, I've been busy with some book things, this and that. You know how it goes. Officer Carner, this is my mother Martha. Mother, Officer Carner. She joined the 12th precinct about a year ago. She's worked a few of the cases with our team."

"Pleased to meet you Officer." Martha shook hands with the young woman. She was medium height and pretty. She had a warm smile.

"You as well Martha. Mr. Castle has mentioned you a few times. I believe you have an acting school?"

Martha noticed two things. One, that Officer Carner had put her hand on one of Rick's arms. It was a relatively intimate gesture in the middle of the precinct. She also noticed Rick start in surprise with the mention of the acting school. Either he was surprised she'd remembered, or he didn't recall having told her that detail.

"Yes, well, I do what I can to help the younger generation of thespians grow and learn." She tried to make it as dramatic as possible. Her son seemed to be struggling with how to proceed.

"That's wonderful Martha. Say, I haven't seen Detective Beckett around today. I hope you weren't coming just to see her?"

"Not at all. We were stopping by to visit with Detectives Esposito and Ryan. I guess you haven't heard the news?"

"No, sorry?"

"Detective Beckett has left the NYPD. She moved out of town to pursue other opportunities."

"I had no idea. Where does that leave you?"

Martha thought this was a fairly aggressive question for an officer that should have had Kate's back. The thin blue line and all that. But maybe she was just imagining it?

"Well, actually Detective Beckett and I decided to drop the engagement and we're no longer seeing each other."

Officer Carner seemed surprised, but Martha thought she detected a gleam of interest in her eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Castle. You always seemed so devoted to each other. I wonder…no, I shouldn't ask."

"Please Officer, feel free to ask me anything."

"What are you going to do about Nikki Heat?"

Red flags were popping up everywhere in Martha's head.

"I haven't decided yet. But I believe having followed Detective Beckett for so long, I have a wealth of experience to draw upon. I don't think our split will be an issue."

Martha made some noises about leaving at that point and soon the officer had left them. When they arrived to the 4th floor, where homicide was located, Lanie nearly exploded. She'd been waiting, impatiently, for about 15 minutes and her excuse to visit with the boys was getting more difficult to maintain as time went on.

"What took you so long?"

"Coffe Lanie? Why, I'd love some. Let's go to the break room, shall we?" Martha loudly exclaimed.

Once in the break room, the two women had to wait another minute or two until a clueless first grade finally realized the glare that the ME was giving him should NOT be ignored. He took the hint and they were alone at last.

"On our way in to the precinct, we ran into an officer named Carner. She came over and it was quite the interesting conversation."

After hearing the summary of the interaction, Lanie had to agree. It was quite the conversation.

"Where would you score her then?"

"I'd say around a 7 or 8. She did bring up Nikki Heat and she got him to tell her that he and Katherine are split up. But, she didn't give him her number or anything."

"It does seem suspicious though. And who would have a better opportunity to watch and plan than a cop? I think I'd better tell the boys about her. They aren't going to like it though. Fellow cops and all."

"I know Lanie. But we can't ignore it, no matter what."

"You're right. Ok, where you guys going next?"

"To Black Pawn. Richard's got a date with his ex-wife for working dinner."

"Good luck then. You're going to need it."

"I'll call you when we're done. We can discuss what we're going to do when that article comes out tomorrow. It's going to bring out the sharks I'm afraid."

"Like chum in the water Martha. Chum in the water."

* * *

When they stepped into the lobby of the publishing building, they were immediately welcomed by a plain looking woman. She had a strict air about her, with a no nonsense business suit and her hair in a severe bun. Martha could tell she'd known her son for some time.

"Rick, so nice to see you again. And who is this lovely woman?"

"Fran, this is my mother, Martha Rogers. Mother, this is Fran. She's worked for Gina for several years."

Martha wouldn't have thought twice about the other woman except that she seemed just a little more nervous around them than Martha would have expected for someone who'd known Rick for years. Fran certainly didn't say or act anything other than professionally, however.

"Gina is expecting you in the conference room. I don't need to show you the way, do I?"

"No, we're fine. Thank you Fran."

"Then I'll let you go on. I'll be there in a few minutes with all the paperwork."

She left them at that point. Martha couldn't point to anything untoward, but she still had a feeling of uncertainty about the woman.

"Richard, what's her story?"

"Fran? Really mother? You're grasping at straws."

"Just humor me."

"Okaaay. She's worked for Gina for at least 2 or 3 years. She's very professional. That's about all I can tell you. The woman has never shared a thing about her personal life with me in all the time I've known her. I think you can safely take her off the list. She's a career woman, no interest in me outside of my writing books for the company she works for."

"No one comes off the list until we find Kate."

He paused; they were walking down a long corridor to the office.

"You're right as usual mother. Thank you. For everything."

His eyes bore into hers. She knew he was clinging to her metaphorically for support.

"Richard, I love her too. And I want her back almost as badly as you do. She's made you so happy. I'll do whatever I can to help you. Even go to dinner with that witch who is your ex-wife."

"That is the definition of true love Mother. The definition." Smiling, he took her arm and escorted her the rest of the way.

* * *

Martha sat reading while Gina, Fran and Richard went over the papers. It all sounded like boring business stuff, but she paid extra attention initially to anything Fran said or did. However, the woman never did anything that was remotely not related to the business they were discussing. Halfway through the meeting, Martha had stopped paying attention to her. She didn't think she'd even merit a zero on the scale. Gina would rate higher, but they were fairly certain Gina wouldn't want to be personally involved with Richard again. They'd had their chance; two of them even, and it just didn't work. No, Gina was not likely to be involved either. But it didn't pay to ignore anyone at this early point.

Once the paperwork was in hand, it was finally time for dinner. They went to a surprisingly quiet restaurant. It was apparently a favorite of Ginas when discussing business with her clients. The food was nice, but dinner was pretty non-eventful. At least in terms of women throwing themselves at Castle. It was very eventful from Castle's point of view as Gina kept needling him about the cancelled meetings from earlier in the week. She wanted to know the family emergency that had kept him away. Finally having had enough, he told her the version that they were telling everyone; Kate and he had split up.

She sat back, obviously a bit surprised but recovered quickly.

"I can't say I'm shocked. She didn't seem your type. I know you were in love with the idea of her; that's where Nikki comes from, and she's a great character. But Kate Beckett seemed to have a lot of problems. I'm sure it's all for the best."

Rick sat listening to his ex-wife malign the only woman he had ever truly loved. He knew he had to play along, or risk everything, but it was much harder listening to Gina say things about Kate than other people who didn't know him as well. Clearly, he had never really seen her true colors until now.

As she continued to expound on all the reasons Kate was bad for him, he found himself clutching his spoon with all his might. Martha knew he was struggling and she tried several times to get Gina off the topic of Kate Beckett, but the woman was like a dog with a bone. To his eternal relief, the waitress brought their soup at that point and interrupted Gina's diatribe.

"Richard, what is wrong with your spoon?"

He looked down, not understanding her question until he saw the utensil in question. It was bent into a curve; a curve that matched his clenched fist perfectly.

* * *

The interminable dinner with Gina finally over, he and Martha returned to the loft. During the ride home, Martha called Lanie and let her know how the dinner had went. He was amused to hear Martha maligning Gina. He felt the same way. Once home, they were met by an eager Alexis, wanting to hear all about the day. Martha gave her a quick rundown.

"That officer sounds creepy," was all she had to say about Officer Carner. Castle wasn't sure if their suspicions were warranted or not.

"I don't know, I've known her for a bit now and I've never gotten a weird vibe from her."

"You were besotted Richard. You wouldn't have noticed if another woman had walked past you naked. All you could see was Katherine."

He looked a bit stricken by her words, though she didn't know why. He had tensed up, sitting at the kitchen counter with his shoulders raised and his head tucked down after she'd finished speaking.

"What did I say that upset you so much kiddo? It was just the truth."

He looked up with tears in his eyes.

"No mother. It _is_ the truth. I'll never look at a woman again the way I look at Kate. She's the only woman I've ever loved and I can't fathom that I'll ever feel that way again about anyone. I don't want to. But you were using the past tense when you spoke about her."

Martha raised her hand to stop him. She hadn't meant anything by her verb tense. She'd just been trying to make a point.

"No, please don't interrupt. I'm sure you didn't mean to mean it in the way I heard it. But it still struck me that if we don't find her, I'll only have the past tense to remember her by. Today has been a rough day for me, with all the fake flirting and then having to listen to Gina go on and on about Kate even though she doesn't know a damn thing about her and having to pretend to agree with her. Or at least refrain from stabbing her in the eye with the fork. No, it's been a long day and I've got to do this all over tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me ladies, I'm going to bed."

He left for his bedroom, leaving Alexis and Martha watching him slowly trudge his way across the room.

"Grams, I sure hope we find her soon. I'm not sure how much of this he can take."

"He's stronger than he looks Alexis. You should have seen how he handled Gina. He has more Martha in him than I ever knew. But you're right. I sure hope we find her soon too."

* * *

**A/N: That's right, two stories updated on the same day. I'm thinking about the search continue for a few more chapters before we start to figure out who's involved. Message me if there's anything you'd like to see or have happen.**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: So much thanks to everyone who is reading this. Especially if you take the time to favorite/follow and review. I get so much from your comments. This might be a short chapter, but people keep asking for Kate's POV, so here it is.**

* * *

The days, or at least hours, passed very slowly for Kate. She'd read the few books left her two to three times, watched the DVDs at least once each. She'd never been one to sit still long watching TV, unless it was Temptation Lane or Nebula 9. Or with Rick sitting beside her distracting her with his hands and lips. Without anyone to talk to or interact with, she'd found herself starting to talk more and more to Fastle, her imaginary fiancé. She caught herself even doing it out loud and that gave rise to a spirited conversation in which she debated with him whether or not she was going crazy.

She lost the argument.

She'd started rationing her food. Her captor hadn't reappeared for some time now (days?) and she was beginning to worry she might run out of food. With the plumbing operational, she wasn't worried about lack of water, so she continued to work out as much as she could bear, knowing she'd stay hydrated. Lack of nutrients was going to be a problem eventually. Staying in shape seemed like a good idea though; her prison warden might slip up at some point. Plus it gave her something to do besides argue with Fastle.

Still, it wasn't enough. She still had long periods of the day when there was nothing to do. She thought about taking a page from Castle's life and writing things down, but she wasn't a person of words like he was.

So, she thought things through, argued with Fastle and discussed things again. She had been given a supply of flour and sugar and basics, so she made things from scratch. She had all the time in the world, after all. Some things were pretty good, like the biscuits she made. Some things didn't turn out well. Like yeastless bread attempts. Still, she ate it. She couldn't waste the resources.

* * *

She was lying in the bed, discussing the existence of Santa with Fastle. He was a big believer, of course. She'd learned the truth at age 6 when Megan Davidson had spilled the beans at recess one day. When she'd asked her parents that night at dinner they'd been honest with her. She was so mad at them. It seemed like an adult conspiracy to keep kids in the dark and she'd been anti-Santa for a long time. With age and maturity, she now understood the magic that people wanted kids to hold on to. However, she wasn't sure what she wanted her kids to know. Fastle, predictably, didn't want them to ever find out that Santa was a spirit and not a real man.

"Kate, it's part of the innocence of growing up. You can't knowingly take that away from them."

"Castle, what about when they find out we've been lying to them? We're the adults, we're not supposed to lie."

"You'll have to lie to them about lots of things to protect them. What about when little Johnny asks you at age 4 where babies come from? Are you going to start discussing penises and vagina?"

She could see his point, but to think about a penis and Santa in the same breath? That was a low blow.

Suddenly, the intercom buzzed. Kate was under the impression that it was late at night, but of course she had no true idea of the date or time.

"Hello Detective. Still hanging in there I see." The disembodied voice startled her. She'd begun to think her jailer had forgotten her.

"I'm running out of food. Or is the plan to let me starve to death?"

"Don't worry, I've brought some more. I've been busy keeping tabs on your ex-fiancé. And I must say, it's obvious he never loved you. He's ready to move on. Much faster than I would have thought."

Kate stifled her grin. He had figured out her message. Now she just had to hope the crazy woman who'd taken her would overplay her hand and lead him to her prison.

"I have a present for you." The Voice sounded almost joyful. Kate couldn't imagine she was going to like this present.

"You're letting me go?" Kate couldn't help but press on any sympathy her imprisoner might have.

"Haha, not yet. But if this keeps going the way it is now it might not be long."

Kate wasn't entirely sure what that meant.

"Go in the bathroom Detective. You know the drill by now."

Kate went in and heard the door locking behind her as usual. She sat on the toilet and heard her captor rustling around in the main room. She was in the bathroom for what seemed to be an hour, but was probably much less.

Finally the door clicked open. Kate rushed out, but as expected the main door was locked up tight. She turned around to survey the room. Nothing looked much different.

She opened the cabinet doors and found there was more flour and basic stock left for her. Opening the fridge, she was relieved to find it in much better shape than before. There was even some orange juice. She was very glad to see it as she was getting no sunlight and didn't have vitamins to take.

* * *

Some time passed as she puttered in the kitchen before she noticed there was something on the table. Crossing over to it, she saw it was a cut out of a newspaper article. There was a picture of Castle that nearly stopped her heart. He was wearing one of his best suits. God he looked hot in it. She'd always been really turned on when he wore it. He seemed to be looking into the camera very intently. His face was the 'serious' Castle face. It wasn't a side he let out in public very often.

She imagined he was trying to see all the way to her, let her know he was coming. She felt infinitely better just seeing him even if it was just a photo. The picture was taken in the loft. She traced his face softly with one finger, then finally pulled her gaze to the text. It had been written by a Alissa Metcalfe.

_**Richard Castle Ready to Paint the Town Again**_

_Richard Castle, best-selling author and perennial Most Eligible Bachelor in New York, is back on the market. As readers will recall, he's based a very successful series of books on the character Nikki Heat, a determined NYPD detective. For the last year there have been rumors that Mr. Castle and the inspiration of Nikki, real life NYPD detective Kate Beckett, were more than just a writer and his muse. However, I had the great pleasure of meeting with Richard in his lovely home where he refuted that story, and more._

_As fits his reputation, he seemed to have trouble keeping his eyes off me. He is a very handsome man in person and knows how to treat a woman. He confirmed that he and Detective Beckett had dated, briefly, but had parted amicably and he is ready to settle down-with the right woman of course. He confided he likes a woman who approaches him honestly and lets him know how she feels. He's looking for a woman a lot like the literary character he's created. So, Nikki Heat, if you're out there, Richard Castle is waiting for you. Let's hope this next year finds him off the Bachelor list for good!_

Kate put the article down. He'd clearly understood her message. She felt encouraged that he'd taken it to heart and sprang into action quickly. She just hoped that the words in the article didn't lead to a cavalcade of women looking to be his Nikki. There's a fine line between having too many suspects and not enough. Kate was afraid this piece would blow open the floodgates on too many.

On the bright side, she now had a picture of him that she could talk to. It was way better than a beach ball.

* * *

She'd read the article multiple times, memorizing the text. She'd added the picture to the ones she already had of him. This time she hadn't had to crop anyone else out of the frame, so it was extra special.

The article by the airhead reporter clearly spelled out that he was ready and waiting for the real Nikki Heat. She knew that meant her, and she was nearly ready to go to him. Once he got to know her, got to see how perfect she was for him, she knew he'd forget very quickly about a certain bossy detective. She'd never liked Beckett when they'd been around each other previously, although that was at least partly due to the fact that Beckett was in his life and she just dreamed of being in it. Now the roles were going to be reversed.

However, she knew that there was no way Beckett would go softly into the night if she ever released her. No, the detective would definitely cause trouble once free. She still needed her just in case her plan backfired and she needed some more letters. But she had no intention of letting her walk out of the prison she'd built so carefully. It would serve not only as a cell but as a coffin too.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who keeps reading this. Sorry this was short, but I've got a busy week and wanted to get this updated. We've still got several potential suspects to meet before the big showdown. Hope you stay interested!**


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: Ok, time to push this story on. I've really enjoyed writing it. We're not quite to the end, but going to get closer. Hope you all still with me enjoy the ride, keep letting me know how I can make it better.**

* * *

A bee had somehow entered the apartment and was buzzing incessantly around his bedroom. In his sleep he assumed that Alexis or Martha had let it in through a carelessly opened window or door. He couldn't locate it exactly in the dream and it buzzed ever onward, finally waking him when it continued making the annoying noise.

Only there was no bee. It was even worse than he'd feared: his phone. And the caller ID said Paula. He groaned, looking at the clock. 7 a.m. Far too early to start dealing with his publicist.

"Paula. What do you want?" He was pretty gruff, but felt he was justified by the insanely early hour. The only woman he wanted waking him up so early was Kate.

"Ricky, the paper is out. With the article?"

"Yeah, so? Isn't that what we were planning?" He couldn't believe she was waking him up to tell him what he already knew.

"Yeah, well thanks to that interview that you did the paper is selling like hotcakes. You're going to almost certainly have paparazzi at your building, maybe fans too. Be careful what you do today, I have a feeling it's going to be crazy even for you."

He was a lot more awake now. And secretly thrilled. He wanted the kidnapper to think it was safe to approach, and he hoped the interview would be enough to encourage it. The trick would be figuring out which crazed fan throwing herself at him was the one.

"Listen, Ricky, I've got to deal with a bunch of other stuff, unrelated to you. I do have other clients you know." The last part was said after he'd groaned dramatically into the phone. "I'll send Emily over to help you deal with the press at the loft. And keep in touch. I don't want to find out 2 hours later that you had an issue."

"Emily….?" He knew exactly who she was. Part of him didn't want to deal with her flirting today, but the majority of him knew she might, _might_ be the one. She'd been coming on to him every time he saw her.

"Rick, she's been working for me for about a year or so now. You know, my assistant? She's really good at what she does and she's been a godsend when trying to deal with you and all your issues."

"What issues?"

"Paula, keep Kate out of the press, even though we were kissing in public. Paula, kill the story about Kate and her mother's death. Paula, don't let anyone ask questions of a personal nature about Kate at the press release. Need I go on?"

"No. Just send her over. I'm hitting the shower and then I'm going out. I'm not going to hide."

"Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me if you get a bunch of personal questions today or when you have women chasing you down the street."

* * *

Within an hour he was showered, dressed and had made breakfast for those still at the loft: Alexis, Martha, Lanie and Jim. Martha wasn't up yet, but he'd been able to warn the others about what Paula had said and that her assistant was going to be there. They knew they'd have to be careful in front of her to not reveal too much. They decided on the sequence of the days 'errands'; Alexis would be his obvious accompaniment while Lanie and Jim would divvy up the more surreptitious observations.

Castle called the front desk doorman and let him know he was expecting Emily. Eduardo, the doorman, told him that there were already some cameras waiting outside too.

The knock on the door about 15 minutes later announced the assistant publicist. Lanie answered it, being closest to the door.

The woman in front of her was medium height, black hair cut professionally. She had the typical powersuit of a New York businesswoman: black jacket and skirt, white blouse underneath. There were a lot of buttons that could have been in their respective holes but were left loose.

"Hi, I'm Emily Moreno. I work for Paula?"

"Hello. I'm Dr. Parrish, friend of the family. Come in, Castle's in the kitchen finishing breakfast."

Lanie wasn't normally a formal person, but one look at the young assistant had set her teeth on edge. For one thing, the blouse the woman was wearing showed a lot of cleavage. For another, there was some strange vibe she was getting, like Emily was disappointed that Castle himself hadn't answered the door. Lanie had learned a long time ago to trust her gut, and her gut was telling her that this chica could be trouble.

In the kitchen, Rick was finishing his breakfast. He'd made everyone waffles, eggs and bacon and had eaten his own plate standing at the counter while the other three sat on the stools at the breakfast bar.

"Hi Mr. Castle. Paula said you'd be expecting me?"

"Oh, hi Emily. Yes, she said you were coming. How is my front door? Eduardo said there are a few cameras down there."

"I counted around 10 when I was coming in. And some women who looked like fans too. Did you see your article yet?"

"No, no one here has gotten the paper yet."

She laid some copies out and they all had a look. It was about what Rick expected.

While the others were reading, Emily entered the kitchen and asked Rick in a low voice if there were somewhere they could speak more privately.

He was a bit surprised by the request, but led her to his office. He didn't shut the doors, figuring they were far enough from the kitchen area that it wasn't necessary. When she shut them with a bit of force, it made him jump.

When she turned back to him, there was a predatory gleam in her eyes.

"Emily, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Paula said you were single again? And looking for a Nikki in real life?"

"Well, I that is what I said in the article." He was moving slowly backwards, trying to keep the desk between them. She was stalking forward, her intent clear.

"I've read all your Heat books."

"I suppose I expected that since you're working as my assistant publicist."

"Yes, but I think you'll find that I _closely_ resemble Nikki. In all aspects."

He was running out of room, literally and figuratively. She was actually unbuttoning her blouse further. He gulped, not sure what to do. What if she was the kidnapper?

She had nearly reached him, one hand rising to run her fingers down his chest.

"My, you're very forward Emily." His voice came out in a squeak. He found the whole situation disturbing but couldn't shut her down in case she had taken Kate.

"Well, you did say you wanted a woman who knew her mind. I know my mind Mr. Castle."

She was now caressing his jawline and looked like she was going to kiss him any minute. He was desperate to keep her talking.

"Sooo, just how long have you felt that you were Nikki personified?"

She gave him a funny look, but temporarily stopped stroking his face.

"I don't think I'm Nikki herself. I just said I share most of her aspects. I'm my own person."

She seemed to be moving in for the kill and he was trying to think how to avoid something really embarrassing when his salvation was at the door.

"Dad?"

Thank. God.

"Yes Alexis, come in!"

The door opened and Emily stepped slowly away from him. He was able to take a deep calming breath.

"Emily, why don't you head back to the kitchen? We need to talk with everyone about the press outside and how to handle things."

He turned back to Alexis, purposely leaving Emily out of the next part of the conversation. She took the hint and fluffed out, giving Alexis a nasty glare first.

"Thank you pumpkin."

"You're welcome. What did she want."

"A big plate of yours truly. Please don't leave me alone with her again."

"Ok, I won't. Do you think it could be her?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure. She's pretty aggressive and she's worked with Paula long enough to know a lot about me and about Kate."

"We'll keep an eye on her and she'll be the first one today to have the boys check her out."

"Yes, but whatever you do, keep someone with me at all times. I didn't want to make her mad by rejecting her since she could very well be the kidnapper, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to keep her from eating me."

"We'll keep the big bad assistant publicist away from you dad."

"You better."

* * *

Back in the kitchen, Rick announced his intentions to do some errands in front of Emily so she'd know what he was doing for the day. Immediately Alexis told him she would join him. Lanie and Jim mentioned other plans. It was all for Emily's benefit; she now knew they wouldn't be hanging out at the loft and that she wouldn't be spending time with them.

"Are you sure about this Mr. Castle?" She gave him a pointed look, trying too hard to be endearing and falling a mile wide of the mark.

"Yes, I'm not going to change my plans just because there are some paparazzi and some fans looking for me."

"Just be careful. I guess if Alexis is with you they may back off a bit."

"You'll help us get out of the building without a scene though, right?"

"I'll try my best."

Martha came down for the first time a few minutes later and they let her know who Emily was and that there were press at the front door. She was thrilled, as she was planning on going to her school that day and would now have the opportunity to announce where she was going. Free publicity never hurt.

Emily wanted as detailed an itinerary as possible. Rick wrote down some places he planned to go, though why she needed to know wasn't clear and she didn't give him a straight answer when he asked her.

Lanie and Jim left first. Neither was well known to the press and they both were able to slip out pretending to be people who lived in other units of the building.

About ten minutes later, Rick, Alexis and Emily were ready to run the gauntlet.

As the opened the door, Emily walked out first, followed by Castle then Alexis. There was a crush of paparazzi in front of the building, and on seeing Castle's face they all moved to hem him in.

"Mr. Castle, is it true you're looking for a real life Nikki?"

"Mr. Castle, do you still speak to Detective Beckett?"

"Mr. Castle, do you really think you can find a real life woman to take the place of a fictional character?"

Emily had enough presence to get them under control.

"He'll be glad to answer some questions, but you have to stop pushing and shouting or he's leaving."

That got them to behave. Rick recognized a few of the reporters, but most of the crush of press was photographers. Beyond them were even more people; mostly women and they had started screaming at the sight of him. They were held back behind the press by some uniforms. Castle gave a silent thanks to Captain Gates as he was sure she'd had a hand in this.

"Mr. Castle, you said in the article that you're single and looking for your perfect woman?" One of the morning news reporters, a man he knew from the TV but couldn't recall his name.

"Yes, that's right. I'm happily single right now, but willing to change that status to 'in a relationship' if I can find the right woman."

"What exactly makes the right woman Mr. Castle? Our viewers are dying to know." This came from an older woman, one he hadn't seen or met before. Or at least he didn't remember her.

"I think it's clear after all my Heat novels what qualities Nikki possesses. I've spelled it out in ink, so if she's out there I hope she comes and lets me know she exists."

"So, your relationship with Detective Beckett, who you've said was the inspiration for Nikki Heat, wasn't enough?" He doesn't see who asks this question, though the voice is female.

He knew they'd ask, and he'd practiced variations of this question with the others over the last few days.

Still, it's like a punch to the gut and for a minute he can't breathe, can't see, can't hear.

Not enough? No, they didn't have enough. Enough time together. Enough moments alone, just breathing each other in. Enough eternities spent lost in her eyes, in her smile that she gives just for him. No matter how long they lived, it would never be enough. And to have her stolen from him….

He felt a sharp kick to his heel. Not to hurt, but to distract him from his internal dialog. Alexis had once again brought him back to reality, saved him from revealing too much in front of cameras that caught everything.

"We decided mutually to call things off. She got a great offer outside of New York and we both knew that the relationship wasn't what either wanted long term. I have nothing but good things to say about the detective, but she is not Nikki Heat. I'm sure my Nikki is out there somewhere. She just needs to find me."

At that pronouncement, one fan managed to break free of the barricades and ran up to him, pushing Alexis and Emily out of the way. She was a dirty blond, almost as tall as Kate. Most people would say she was gorgeous, but she wasn't Kate Beckett so Rick didn't really notice her looks.

It was hard to ignore her actions though, as she jumped into his arms and planted a kiss on his lips. He was shocked by the whole encounter, which took place over a matter of seconds. Of course the cameras were snapping away like crazy the whole time.

After she broke the one-sided kiss, she gushed to him "I'm Liz, and I'm your number one fan! I've been reading your Heat series since it came out, and I'm certain that I match Nikki."

He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you Liz. I'm happy to sign a book or something if you want."

He saw a uniform approaching from the corner of his eye. Clearly Liz's time with him was about to be over.

She seemed disappointed in his reaction, or lack, to her presence. She smiled wanly and held up a book, which he signed happily. Then she was drug off by the uniform.

Emily was calling a halt to any more questions.

"Mr. Castle needs to be somewhere else. Thank you for your questions. Anything further can be asked through his publicist, Paula Haas."

Rick and Alexis took their cues and walked to the street where they hailed a cab and escaped from the crowd.

Rick saw Emily watching as the cab pulled away. He hadn't meant to leave so abruptly, but the cab was there almost like magic and he didn't want to stand around with crazy fans trying to grab him.

"Well, what did you thing pumpkin? Your old man do ok?"

"You did great dad, except you did freeze there for a minute. What happened?"

"That question is hard to answer since I know we didn't break up and it's killing me to act like she's gone and its amicable when I _know_ she was stolen from me."

"Ah, Dad. She knows you're coming. She wouldn't have put in all those crazy clues to you if she didn't think you'd move heaven and earth to find her. I know having faith in you can carry a person through lots of things, even when it seems like there's no hope. You're what got me through Paris and you'll get Kate through this too."

Sometimes he forgot just how wise his daughter was and then she'd do something like this and he'd be amazed all over again.

"Did you tell Lanie to have the boys check out that fan and Emily?"

"Yep, she's on it. She and Jim are getting more info on the fan so they know who to chase down. I sent them the name of a reporter too."

He looked at her, confused as to whom she meant.

"The one that asked about your relationship with Beckett. I thought that was an awfully personal question."

"I didn't even see who asked it, I was so devastated by the question," Rick replied.

"I caught her name and texted it to Lanie.

"I don't know what I'd do without you pumpkin."

"Probably get a lot less done." She had grinned to let him know she wasn't kidding.

"No doubt about it."

* * *

They spent the day going from place to place, store to store. They even went back to the precinct again.

Along the way they were met by many, many women. Castle finally realized what his mother and Alexis had tried to tell him. Too many was overwhelming. They had devised some simple questions that they thought revealed who was a true fan and who was a pretender.

The person who'd taken Kate was clearly the former, so it helped to weed out those who didn't really know much about the character of Nikki Heat.

The first stop was back to his favorite coffee shop. Jessica and Kelly were both working today and they literally shoved each other trying to be the one to make his coffee. He pretended not to notice their pushing and shoving.

Alexis and Lanie had to revise their rating of Jessica, seeing her fight over him. She was up from a 4 to a 6. Kelly was a solid 7. And the winner of the fight.

She'd always been very vocally challenging with him. He'd thought it was just friendliness. He was a friendly guy after all. Now, he wasn't sure.

At the precinct, he was waylaid again by officer Carner, who flirted with him shamelessly in front of Alexis. Her score remained in the 7 range. When he got upstairs to see the boys they were already doing background checks on the names they had been given. Unfortunately nothing was popping out as obvious.

Castle had realized at this point that winnowing down the real kidnapper was going to be a challenge. There had to be a way to narrow it down more than just interest in him.

"Guys, I have an idea."

Espo and Ryan looked up from their computers, curious. Anything that would help them focus better would be helpful.

"We know this person took Kate. And we know she's…" his voice was breaking, but he tried to stifle the emotion and keep going. They had to find her and to do that he had to be strong. "We know she's still alive as she's writing notes to us. And you and I know if there was anyplace not completely secured that Kate would have found a way to escape or get someone's attention."

"How does that help bro?" Espo wasn't convinced.

"What if we took the names and see if anyone owns any property where you could expect to imprision someone for a while."

"That's not a bad idea, though the property could be under another name." Ryan was always pragmatic.

"Will it add on a lot of work?"

"Not really. We'll add it to the checks, see if it helps."

"Thanks guys. I know you're working hard. I really appreciate everything. I don't know if I say that enough."

"Castle, we love her like a sister. This is for us as much as it is for you. We'll find her." Espo turned back to his work, eyes shimmering. Castle hit them both lightly on their backs and left before his own tears spilled down his face.

Lanie and Alexis had been talking in the break room with Jim while he spoke with the boys. They had written out their list of places yet to go and once Castle rejoined them they set off.

* * *

By the end of the day, they had a list of 10 names for the boys.

Kelly and Jessica from the coffee shop.

Emily, Paula's assistant.

Liz, the crazy fan.

Officer Carner.

Ashleigh Warwick, the reporter outside the loft who's name Alexis had caught this morning.

Samantha Abeha, the owner of another bookstore that Rick liked to visit. She'd practically draped herself over him when she saw him today.

Laura Patrick, a homeowner near them that they often saw walking in the neighborhood. They had been on just a 'hi, how are you' level for a year or two, but when they ran into her as they did their errands, she had changed that to a 'I want to eat you alive' level. Rick still blushed when he thought of the encounter.

The final two were both women he ran into once in a while. Cheryl Correa was a yoga aficionado that he had met through Kate. Apparently Cheryl had befriended her just to get closer to him. It was all he could do to keep the disgust from his face when she came on to him.

And finally Debra Gunderman. She was an agent, a rival of Gina that had been trying to lure him away for years. She had started trying a lot harder today when they ran into her at the restaurant during lunch. He wasn't sure if it was an innocent meeting or if she was stalking him, but her intentions were very, very clear. She wanted him. Not just for his writing.

Rick was a little disappointed. None of them screamed "crazy bitch who took your fiancé." Sure, they seemed crazy. Yet he'd been hoping it would be obvious. An even more depressing thought was that maybe he hadn't even run into her today or yesterday. What if she didn't approach him?

He tried shaking off the melancholy thoughts by concentrating on the fact that the kidnapper had taken such pains to accomplish this imprisonment, surely now that he was publically available it would be an opportunity she couldn't afford to miss.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took a while. I had something ready to go but realized I was tired and I was short changing you readers and the story. I'm glad I waited, as this is much better than what I had originally. I'm hoping to get some more done this weekend so we can get through this whole thing. Thanks for sticking by me and as always, reviews, favs and follows are my writing highlights!**


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. I had a ton of homework, and it's hard to write in English when you're surrounded by Spanish and living in a foreign country to immerse yourself in the culture and language. Sadly, I leave to go back home in about 15 hours. But, in between shopping for gifts and packing for home, I've been writing. No more homework afterall. **

**Some people have been frustrated by the slow pace of this story. To be honest, that's purposeful. I've read a lot of fanfic since I joined in August (almost all Castle of course) and I hate stories where there is a buildup of suspense and then suddenly the situation is resolved within a paragraph or two. The whole premise of this fic is the kidnapping of Beckett and the process of finding her...if they do [insert evil laugh/]. However, we are close to the end. Promise. Probably just 3 or 4 chapters after this one. So thanks for sticking by me and know that we're almost at the end of the journey. Love you guys and all your reviews!**

* * *

"Castle, we've got a problem."

Rick sighed heavily, placing his heavy head in the hand that wasn't holding the phone as he sat tiredly at the kitchen counter.

Espo was waiting for a response, so Rick grunted. There was a problem. And that problem was that Kate was _missing_. Nothing else really qualified.

"Ryan and I have been looking at the list, but nothing is popping out. None of them have anything in their history that even remotely suggests they would be capable of something like this."

Rick knew it had been a long shot that one of the ten women on the list would be the one.

"Thanks for trying Espo. I know you guys are doing your best."

Something in his voice must have sounded more defeated than usual.

"We're not giving up Castle. Maybe she hasn't approached you yet, or maybe we aren't looking at the right information. We're gonna find her. Don't even think for a minute that we aren't."

Rick wanted to believe it. He was just so tired tonight, after the long day of flirting with women he had no interest in. He kept seeing her face in his mind and it felt like cheating even though it was all in a quest to find her.

Even worse was that he was dreaming of her every night, but it seemed like she was getting further away and not closer. He was wondering what it would be like if they didn't find her. Would he forget what it felt like to hold her hand? Hear her voice? The smell of her?

His head had sunk to the counter now as he lost himself in the despair of her being gone from him. When his phone rang again, he physically jumped, startled by the ringing.

He almost didn't answer when he saw it was Gina. But at the end of a horrible day, it was the perfect topping. A phone call from his tyrannical ex-wife was just the thing to make him feel even worse about the day.

"Richard, I've got papers for you to sign."

It was his next book deal. They'd discussed it at the meeting and the dinner he'd had with her earlier in the week, but he'd been so worried about Kate at the time he'd not really paid much attention.

"Just fax them over Gina. I'll sign them after Thomas looks at them."

Thomas McElwaine, his lawyer, always looked over his contracts first. He was a little puzzled why Gina was calling him. She and Thomas had worked together (through him) for years.

"He's already signed off. Really Richard, haven't you been paying attention to anything I said to you this week?"

"Do you want an honest answer?"

She was quiet, for Gina. It didn't last long. It never did.

"Your breakup with her has affected you far more than the breakup of our marriage ever did."

He could never compare how he felt about Kate to what he'd felt with Gina. It was like comparing nectar, ambrosia to a twig. They weren't the same thing and weren't even in the same lexicon.

"Look, I'm coming over tonight. These need to be in first thing in the morning and you don't have time to waste. Fran and I will be over in 20 minutes."

Whatever.

"Fine."

"Fine!"

So she was mad at him. It didn't deserve any merit or even register as an event in his life.

* * *

He'd been thinking about bed when Gina had called. It was still relatively early, but the day had worn him out and the lack of progress frustrating the boys exhausted him.

Leaving the kitchen where he'd taken her call, he returned to his room. He wanted to wear something more comfortable and he didn't care if Gina saw him in sweats. She'd seen him all before and he certainly didn't need to impress her.

When he re-entered the living room, he wasn't surprised to see Alexis, Martha and Lanie still sitting there comparing notes from the day. They'd sat down to sort things out while he'd lost himself to depression in the kitchen.

He'd already told them about Espo's call. Now they were going over things again to see if they could key in on any odd behavior. He felt a strong rush of affection and love for them. Everyone was trying so hard.

"Richard, you look like you need to go to bed."

His mother was peering at him closely. She could tell he was teetering on exhaustion.

"I was headed that way mother, but Gina called. She _has _to have some paperwork signed tonight and told me she was on her way."

"Oh, how mundane. But she does keep you on a tight leash, doesn't she darling?"

That wasn't even worth a response.

"Any success on figuring things out?"

"Not really dad. We thought describing how the day went to Grams might help trigger something, but no such luck."

"When is Gina going to be here? I should probably go." Lanie didn't have any new insights and was ready to go home and see if Javi needed any special attention. Which she was certain he needed. He'd been working non-stop on the case and she knew he was exhausted.

"She said it'd be twenty minutes. Have we decided what to do for tomorrow though? Where I'm going and who'll be coming with me?"

"I think we need to do today again, but this time we'll hit some places we haven't already. Like the grocery store you normally go to and a few of the bookstores that you only get to once in a while. And I think Grams and I will trade off morning to afternoon."

He didn't want to repeat today; it had been draining. But he knew he had to throw himself into the whole thing.

They made a few more plans, then just as Lanie was ready to call it quits for the night the bell rang for the front door.

"That'll be Gina. I'll get it." Rick crossed to the foyer and opened the door.

Gina sailed in, barely looking at him. Fran followed more demurely.

"Gina, can't say it's nice to see you."

"Very funny Richard." She wasn't in a playful mood. Come to think of it, he didn't think she'd ever been in a playful mood.

"Fran, sorry she had to drag you over here so late at night."

He took their coats after Fran simply nodded at him. They were both still dressed in office clothes; the prototypical executive stylings of a Manhattan woman.

He gestured for them to proceed towards the office, but Gina stopped to greet the women first.

"Martha, Alexis. Nice to see you again."

"Gina, a pleasure as always." Martha's droll reply did little to hide her dislike of his ex-wife. Fortunately, Gina had never been close to Martha and had never picked up on the subtle tones in her vocalizations that clued Rick into how she was feeling. For Martha, her extensive training in theater allowed her to shade her expressions so subtly it was nearly impossible to recognize them unless you knew her very well.

"I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you before." Gina was holding her hand out to Lanie.

"Oh, sorry. Gina, Fran this is Lanie Parrish. Doctor Lanie Parrish. Lanie, this is Gina, my publisher and my second ex-wife. And this is her assistant Fran. Fran, my mother Martha you met. This is Alexis, my daughter." He had forgotten they didn't all know each other.

"Nice to meet you Lanie. I guess Rick's playboy reputation isn't as much as a façade as I thought. Here you are already dating another beautiful woman and you just broke up with Detective Beckett."

Rick was so surprised he was speechless. Lanie was a beautiful woman, but they'd been friends for years and he'd never thought of her as a potential date. She was like a sister to him.

Lanie was equally surprised at how fast Gina jumped to the assumption of Castle dating her. No wonder Kate couldn't stand the woman, she was a complete bitch. She was about to open her mouth and correct the witch, seeing Castle had been stunned into silence, when Alexis grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze as she shocked them even more.

"Yes, my dad doesn't ever lack for female companions. He and the doctor here just started seeing each other, but they seem very happy together."

Lanie could barely keep a straight face. She wasn't sure what Alexis was up to, but decided to play along.

Rick's mouth was hanging open practically to his chest. He had no idea what was going on. Luckily, he was behind everyone and had a chance to recover before they'd seen his look of shock.

Lanie squeezed Alexis' hand in a questioning fashion and the younger girl squeezed hers back hard, reassuring. Hmm, ok.

Lanie walked over to where Castle was standing, now recovered from his daughter's announcement, and put her arms around his waist.

"We've been friends for a long time and now we're just getting to know each other in another way, but I think we're both liking what we see so far, right Ricky?"

Her tone was teasing, light. He looked down at her briefly. She'd tapped one hand on his back when she first approached him, trying to communicate that he needed to play along. So, he kept up the charade. Not unlike what he'd been doing all day. Charade. For Kate.

"Yes. You saw the paper Gina. I'm back on the market, and the good doctor here has decided to try and take me off of it. I might just let her."

"Whatever. I just need these papers signed. Nice to meet you Dr. Parrish, and good luck keeping him in line."

Gina walked to the office, obviously expecting he and Fran to follow.

Fran stood still for a minute, eyes bouncing between all the parties involved, then followed her boss.

Lanie dropped her arms from around Castle and hissed at Alexis.

"What the hell are you playing at Little Castle?"

"I'll tell you when they leave, promise. Just play along. And when dad comes back from signing the papers, could you two act really affectionate before they leave?"

Rick just stared at his daughter.

"Trust me dad. This is important."

He still didn't have words, so just nodded his head. What was more playacting at the end of a day full of it?

He entered the office and found Gina had already set out everything. Fran was standing awkwardly by the door and he wondered for a minute why Gina had forced her to come along. Probably to make the poor assistant go back to the office with the papers so Gina would be free to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Rick saw that Thomas had read through everything and signed off on the parts he'd needed to. So, Rick hastily signed his name then waited to see what else Gina wanted from him.

"Thank you Richard." She studied him closely. "Look, I know you had feelings for that detective. Are you sure you should be jumping into another relationship so quickly?"

He wasn't sure how to answer, though he knew Alexis wanted them to believe Lanie and he were going at it hot and heavy.

He shrugged as if to answer and hoped she wouldn't press.

"It's my life Gina. You've not had a say in my personal business for years and that isn't going to change now."

"I just don't want to see you distracted again, that's all. You owe me more chapters."

"Don't worry about your chapters. You'll get them. I always come through don't I? Wait, don't answer that."

He exited the office, knowing the two women would follow. As soon as she caught sight of him, Lanie stood and sashayed to his side.

"There you are Writer-Man. I was missing you."

She reached up and put her arms around his neck, pulling his head down for a kiss.

Once again shocked by the women in his life, Rick was motionless for a minute. Alexis had said be affectionate, but kissing? Lanie?

Lanie gave the back of his neck a hard pinch and he gasped at the pain. She immediately took advantage, slipping her tongue into his open mouth.

God, it was so weird to be kissing Lanie like this. But he got into the spirit of things once he was over his initial shock. He was the child of an actress after all.

Alexis finally interrupted.

"Ok, you two lovebirds need to tone it down for a second. You do still have guests to consider here dad."

They broke apart to see Gina and Fran staring at them.

"Right, sorry. Got carried away. Well, Gina, I'm sure you and Fran both have better things to do tonight."

He walked the women over to the closet area and helped them both into their coats.

"Thank you for bringing the papers to me Gina." He gave them both quick pecks on the cheek and held open the door.

"Get me more chapters and you won't have me breathing down your neck Richard."

"Yes mother. I mean Gina."

He smirked at her irritated expression. She'd always hated it when he called her his mother, but she deserved it when she treated him like a baby. Though, he had to admit, he wasn't always the most consistent writer in the world.

The women finally left. As soon as the front door was closed, Lanie grabbed Alexis' arm and steered her back into the living room. Rick followed quickly.

"Alright Alexis. Spill. What was that all about?" The ME was intense in her questioning.

"We have another name for the boys!" Alexis was practically bouncing in her excitement.

"Oh, darling, I hardly thing Gina has any interest in having Richard back in her life at this point, beyond the books that is. They've had their chances."

"I have to agree mother. In the office she did question why I was jumping back into a relationship so quickly after my _supposed_ breakup with Kate, but she didn't act interested in me personally. I think you're overanalyzing things here."

Alexis was shaking her head as they both spoke.

"No, not Gina. Fran!"

All three stared at her in shock.

"Fran, the mousy assistant? She didn't even speak that I remember." Lanie was not buying it.

"And when Richard and I were at the Black Pawn offices that day she never did or said anything out of the ordinary." Martha was dismissive as well.

"No, you don't understand. I was watching her face when you introduced everyone and when she first saw Lanie too. She masked her face really well, so it was fleeting, but I'm telling you she was angry you were here Lanie. Once I saw that, I kept watching her. She likes you dad. The looks she was giving you were more than just an assistant publisher."

Castle was skeptical, but he knew he needed to keep an open mind about everyone.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to have the boys run her name. I think you're imagining things that aren't there, but I trust you Pumpkin."

"I'm telling you dad, there was something off about her. I know she's quiet, but isn't it the quiet ones that sometimes have something to hide?"

"Good point. Definitely my daughter, coming up with theories like that. I'll call Espo with the info."

Lanie sighed. So much for plans to get Javi to relax tonight. But if it was going to help bring Kate home, she wouldn't argue.


End file.
